In the age of social media, many people believe that online friendships are just as valuable as offline ones, while others argue that these cannot replace real-world relationships. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the era of modern
technology
and the appearance of the Internet, some
individuals
think that relationship through online
communication
has the same importance as traditional
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
,
whereas
others disagree that these online interactions can substitute face-to-face
communication
.
Although
online
communication
can have a lot of advantages, it cannot fully replace traditional
one
.
Due to
the development of modern
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
there are a lot of opportunities to create relationships via using
such
kind of
breakthrough
Fix the agreement mistake
breakthroughs
show examples
as the Internet. Using instant
technology
majority of people can interact with each other without having geographical boundaries.
For instance
, having relatives in
one
country people have the chance to communicate with them instantly, being in another.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
the
individuals
can share
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interests which might not be found locally. At the same time using
this
modern
technology
has some drawbacks as physical presence and the lack of trusted
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
. As for traditional
communication
which is face-to-face, it has
also
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
beneficial sides. Physical presence is, perhaps, the main advantage of
this
interaction, where people have the ability to do activities together and it provides emotional support in person.
Moreover
, during a certain time
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
can build trusted
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
However
,
such
kind of
communication
as conventional, it has some negative moments that
expresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
express
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the difficulty to maintain because of distance and it requires more effort including physical
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
and spending time. I believe that
combination
Correct article usage
a combination
show examples
of both online and face-to-face
communication
, having all positive and negative things, can create the ideal possibility for the
individuals
to interact with full satisfaction. In conclusion, despite the thing that online interaction has a lot of
benefits
Add a comma
benefits,
show examples
it cannot replace the traditional
one
.
Submitted by zavkidm on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and accurately reflect the content of your essay. Introduce the topic effectively and summarize your key points succinctly in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay in a logical manner with clear paragraphs, each one focusing on a single main point. Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to help the reader follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Provide a balanced treatment of both sides of the argument before presenting your own stance.
task achievement
Clearly define your ideas with comprehensive explanations and arguments that reflect a deep understanding of the topic. Strive for depth over breadth in your content.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points and make them more convincing. The examples should not only be relevant, but they should also be varied and detailed to demonstrate a broad range of knowledge.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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