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Band 5

Online education is replacing traditional learning. In what ways is this a good thing and a bad thing?

#education
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Nowadays distance learning has become more popular and there is a view that it can substitute a conventional way of studying. Having
such
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 kind of
education
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as
Change preposition
apply
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online,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals have a lot of opportunities
like
Correct word choice
apply
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it is cost and
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time effective
Add a hyphen
time-effective
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. At the same
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time
Add a comma
time,
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this
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education
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 cannot fully replace the studying that includes face-to-face interactions between
students
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due to
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 the reasons of collaboration and cooperation. On the
one
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 hand, distance learning brings
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
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 of capabilities that
has
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have
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 some kind of reflection in cost and
time
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 effectiveness. Put simply,
students
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 do not have to go to educational institutions
for
Change preposition
to
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 study and they do not need to spend
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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money
for
Change preposition
on
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 transport.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 modern type of
education
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 can give
to
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apply
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students
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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flexibility, both
for
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in
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time
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 and the choice of subjects.
For instance
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, young people,
educating
Wrong verb form
educated
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 online, may have the
rights
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right
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 to choose the necessary disciplines and do the tasks at any
time
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 of the day,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 gives them a lot of possibilities to develop personally and professionally.
Thus
Linking Words
, online studying gives many chances for the
students
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 to have
full
Correct article usage
a full
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 process of
education
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 and to get some improvements in the skills that can be essential for personal and professional growth.
On the other hand
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, distance
education
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, in spite of own advantages, cannot fully substitute the traditional
one
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 that has face-to-face communication between
students
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 and teachers, including
such
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kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of reasons as collaboration and cooperation. As for the former
one
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,
this
Linking Words
 positive and necessary thing helps young people to study in
one
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 society.
Also
Linking Words
, studying in
this
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 atmosphere
students
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 know about
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 pros and cons and they learn how to support each other, strengthening collaborative skills, that can be useful not only at school or university
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 in professional organizations. As for the second
one
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,
that is
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
important
Add an article
an important
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 quality for
students
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, where they have the opportunity to learn how to cooperate and work in
one
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 team to achieve some personal and educational goals. These factors can show that the conventional way of studying is
also
Linking Words
 significant in
learning
Add an article
the learning
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 process. In conclusion, despite the thing that modern online
education
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 has a lot of possibilities and benefits, it cannot fully replace the traditional
one
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, relying on the reasons mentioned above.
Submitted by zavkidm on

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Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that you structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each one focusing on a separate main idea. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs smoothly. Avoid repetitive structures to enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Response
For task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the question thoroughly, providing a balanced discussion of both sides when required. Support your points with specific examples and explanation. Expand your conclusion to summarise the arguments presented in the essay clearly, reflecting on the question's specific demands.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifelong education
  • continual learning
  • adapt
  • changing technologies
  • societal norms
  • cognitive function
  • cognitive decline
  • personal development
  • self-improvement
  • formal education
  • navigate
  • emphasis
  • pressure
  • contentment
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