More and more people are moving abroad to study in expensive private universities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

An increasing number of
people
have a great desire to study in lucrative private educational institutions that are located overseas.
Although
there may be some drawbacks as culture shock
with
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apply
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homesickness and financial burden it is
more
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preferable
due to
the reasons of cultural exchange with essential networking and getting holistic development with enhancing
of
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language proficiency. On the one hand, studying abroad has some negative things, connected with culture shock and financial burden. Relying on the former
one
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there is the feeling of disorientation and sudden meeting with
unfamiliar
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an unfamiliar
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way of life or set of attitudes of local
people
.
Moreover
, being in another country it is the students who feel homesickness caused by an actual separation from home. At the same
time
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time,
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these
people
have difficulties with finances, connected not only with
education
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the education
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process
,
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but
also
with living expenses. Having
aforementioned
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the aforementioned
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issues,
the
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apply
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individuals, studying abroad, have to be prepared
to
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for
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all barriers.
On the other hand
,
this
development has some beneficial sides. To start with cultural exchange and networking, during the studying
process
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process,
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young
people
may have the connection between two countries to stimulate mutual understanding.
Also
, it can help them to interact and develop professional and social contacts.
Secondly
, students, having
this
opportunity to get
the
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an
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education
abroad can receive
holistic
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a holistic
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education
that means personal growth involving academic, emotional, social, and cultural dimensions. Simultaneously, it gives them the chance to improve and develop acquired language.
Thus
, all the factors that mostly have positive outcomes of
this
development
is
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are
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acceptable for young
people
to the
education
overseas
that is
in high level. In conclusion,
while
the
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apply
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studying abroad can have some downsides, connected with
new
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a new
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culture and loneliness, it, probably, has more benefits , considering the importance of exchange between two cultures and getting the
education
, including all the necessary factors.
Submitted by zavkidm on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Support main points with more detailed and relevant examples. While general statements are made, the essay would benefit from specific examples that clearly illustrate the points being discussed.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the prompt. While the essay discusses advantages and disadvantages, more balance and depth in exploring each point could better illustrate the comparative weight of advantages versus disadvantages.
task achievement
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task achievement
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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