In some countries, rich countries are becoming rich and poor are becoming poorer. What are the causes of this problem? How can this problem be tackle? educat, governm, spent earn
It is clear that
the Linking Words
countries
that have good economies increase their budgets, Use synonyms
although
the poor Linking Words
countries
lose money day by day. Most people know that Use synonyms
this
is the result of the economic strategy of governments. In my essay, Linking Words
i
will explain solutions like education and the causes of Change the capitalization
I
this
problem.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the main problem of Linking Words
this
situation is spending money on the wrong side. To extend, governments must invest in startups, trade and tourism Linking Words
instead
of health care or social costs. Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
countries
located in the Middle East invest in making expensive carways, and buildings, Use synonyms
while
the USA and European Linking Words
countries
increase spending on startups. Use synonyms
Consequently
, the jobs which can grow economies must be a priority for the poor Linking Words
countries
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, education is a long-term investment for the population who don't understand new technologies and the reality of the modern world because the chance of a less educated person is completely low in the competitive world. Linking Words
In addition
, educated people can research and apply others' experiences more easily than others. Linking Words
For instance
, every year, many students from several cultures go to Europe for better study and return to their homeland to improve something. Linking Words
As a result
, educated people are able to grow counties income.
In conclusion, the term "poor" and "rich" depends on the decisions of governments. There are many solutions for solving Linking Words
this
spending problem which Linking Words
i
wrote in my essay, but plenty of Change the capitalization
I
countries
like to invest short-term and get a lot of money over the minimum period. Use synonyms
As a result
, the poor Linking Words
countries
are getting poorer and the rich ones use them to become the richest.Use synonyms
Submitted by orxanmikayilov44 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents ideas that are generally relevant, but it lacks seamless transitions and clear logical progression between paragraphs. The candidate should focus on creating stronger topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph coherently follows the previous one in a logical order. Usage of linking phrases can help improve the flow of the essay. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion are not fully developed. They should more clearly state the main argument and summarise the essay's key points, respectively.
task achievement
The response addresses the task partially, but it does not cover all aspects of the question fully. There is room for improvement in expanding on the causes of the growing gap between rich and poor, as well as more concrete examples of how education can tackle the issue. The essay should address the specific question prompts more directly and provide a balanced discussion of both the causes and potential solutions.
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