In some countries, rich countries are becoming rich and poor are becoming poorer. What are the causes of this problem? How can this problem be tackle? educat, governm, spent earn

It is clear that
the
countries
that have good economies increase their budgets,
although
the poor
countries
lose money day by day. Most people know that
this
is the result of the economic strategy of governments. In my essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will explain solutions like education and the causes of
this
problem.
Firstly
, the main problem of
this
situation is spending money on the wrong side. To extend, governments must invest in startups, trade and tourism
instead
of health care or social costs.
For example
,
countries
located in the Middle East invest in making expensive carways, and buildings,
while
the USA and European
countries
increase spending on startups.
Consequently
, the jobs which can grow economies must be a priority for the poor
countries
.
On the other hand
, education is a long-term investment for the population who don't understand new technologies and the reality of the modern world because the chance of a less educated person is completely low in the competitive world.
In addition
, educated people can research and apply others' experiences more easily than others.
For instance
, every year, many students from several cultures go to Europe for better study and return to their homeland to improve something.
As a result
, educated people are able to grow counties income. In conclusion, the term "poor" and "rich" depends on the decisions of governments. There are many solutions for solving
this
spending problem which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
wrote in my essay, but plenty of
countries
like to invest short-term and get a lot of money over the minimum period.
As a result
, the poor
countries
are getting poorer and the rich ones use them to become the richest.
Submitted by orxanmikayilov44 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay presents ideas that are generally relevant, but it lacks seamless transitions and clear logical progression between paragraphs. The candidate should focus on creating stronger topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph coherently follows the previous one in a logical order. Usage of linking phrases can help improve the flow of the essay. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion are not fully developed. They should more clearly state the main argument and summarise the essay's key points, respectively.
task achievement
The response addresses the task partially, but it does not cover all aspects of the question fully. There is room for improvement in expanding on the causes of the growing gap between rich and poor, as well as more concrete examples of how education can tackle the issue. The essay should address the specific question prompts more directly and provide a balanced discussion of both the causes and potential solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: