Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is certainly true that
now-a-days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
, most of the individuals prefer online platforms to connect with their
friends
.
While few
Correct word choice
Few
show examples
assert that
friendship
with face-to-face meetings has stronger bonding than
friends
who
become through
Verb problem
go
show examples
online. Though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
traditional
friendship
has
depth
Correct your spelling
deep
show examples
bonding, I firmly believe that online
friendship
can be equally meaningful.
Firstly
, we have
quite
Change the article
quite a
show examples
number of genuine
friends
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online. As most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
busy
Add a missing verb
are busy
show examples
with their work or personal responsibilities, there is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
platform to connect with old
friends
as well
and
Correct word choice
as
show examples
to make new
friends
.
For instance
, one of my
friends
was looking for information about the best hospital and after spending a week time, he posted the same question on
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
.
With
Change preposition
Within
show examples
in few minutes, he got a call from
one
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
unknown person and got the required information.
As a result
, they became very good
friends
and started connecting frequently to
share
views with each other. From
this
, it is quite evident that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
why online
friendship
is meaningful.
Secondly
, most of the individuals have video call provision to connect and
share
their real emotions with each other. People can
share
their personal emotions and affections to bridge their physical distances.
For example
, I am
myself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used to
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
my evenings with my
friends
in
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
my hometown
show examples
.
However
, I have been staying in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
country now and
still
Add a missing verb
am still
show examples
able to connect with my old
friends
and
share
my onsite experiences with them through online platforms. With
this
, it is very clear that not only to make new
friends
but
also
, we can strengthen old
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
with online platforms.
To conclude
,
although
traditional
friendships
provide more advantages like face-to-face interactions to
share
personal emotions or non-verbal expressions, I wholeheartedly disagree that online
friendships
are not meaningful. With the video calls and
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
show examples
of making
friends
with unknown individuals, it is very clear
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why online
friendships
are equally meaningful as traditional
friendships
.
Submitted by dillirao.nakka.canada on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraph structuring. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, fully developed and connected logically to the question.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate an introduction and conclusion that summarize the core argument of the essay. The position should be restated in the conclusion to reinforce the writer's view.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed examples to strengthen the arguments. Avoid overly generalized statements.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task and consider different points of view where relevant. Every element of the question should be addressed in your response.
task achievement
Aim to present ideas clearly and develop them thoroughly to cover the topic comprehensively. Avoid vague expressions and ensure clarity in your argumentation.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples that are directly linked to the main points being discussed, to illustrate the arguments effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-verbal communication cues
  • depth of understanding
  • spontaneous
  • genuine moments
  • shared interests
  • sense of physical presence
  • evolve
  • constant connectivity
  • nurture friendships
  • busy schedules
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!