IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#town #garlsdon #supermarket #two #sites #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram below illustrates the two possible
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 for
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 supermarket (S) that will be developed in Garlsdon which has
65,000
Correct article usage
a 65,000
show examples
 population.
Overall
Linking Words
, the supermarket is planned to be located in the countryside (S1) and in the town centre (S2). The details look of the map shows that the first future development of a new supermarket (S1) will be located in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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. The area is 12 kilometres away from Hindon which has 10.000 total population.
This
Linking Words
 location is
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the west side of Garlsdon. The option of transportation to the site is by train or other vehicles. In the same way, the second option of location
also
Linking Words
 has easy access as the first one. Its place
also
Linking Words
 has
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
 and main roads. But,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 options
near
Add a missing verb
are near
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from
Change preposition
apply
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Bransdon and Cransdon which have more population,
15,000
Change preposition
of 15,000
show examples
 and 29,000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the place is surrounded by housing and industry
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 which
also
Linking Words
 gives more
possibility
Fix the agreement mistake
possibilities
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 consumers.
Submitted by dyahkusumaningrum18 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • map
  • town
  • supermarket
  • site
  • overview
  • possible
  • transportation
  • access
  • surrounding
  • facilities
  • population
  • density
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