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Band 4

Discuss your academic achievements, including the process and skills involved in your previous or current degree program!

#achievements #process #skills #program
Since junior high school, my parents have always provided guidance on the importance of achieving high grades through ethical means, without resorting to cheating,
such
 as copying. They believe that a good process is a crucial step toward success, especially in achieving perfect grades. As I transitioned to university life after graduating from high school, my determination was to attain a Cumulative Grade Point Average (CGPA) above 3.50.
However
, the reality is that the difficulty level of various courses in college varies significantly, especially those related to mathematics. Despite not being a fan of mathematics and preferring to rely on memorization, I chose the biology major. Unfortunately, within it, there are mathematics courses
such
 as differential calculus, integral calculus, and biostatistics.
Although
initially
feeling
Wrong verb form
felt
show examples
 overwhelmed in understanding these subjects, I committed to processing and cultivating an appreciation for these courses to ensure the final results were not disappointing. Despite the challenges, my perseverance and hard work paid off, and I successfully achieved an A- grade for differential calculus with 3 credits.
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
While your introduction provides an insight into your academic journey, it fails to establish a clear preview of the exact academic achievements you will discuss. A stronger introduction sets a clear direction for your essay by explicitly mentioning your most significant academic achievements and how you intend to discuss them.
Logical Structure
Your essay contains a sequence of ideas and events, but they are not always logically structured. Paragraphs could be organized more coherently by clearly distinguishing between different academic achievements, the process involved in attaining them, and the skills utilized. Transitions between these sections would significantly enhance the flow of your essay.
Complete Response
You have detailed one of your academic successes, but to meet the requirements of the task fully, you should expand on additional accomplishments as well to provide a more comprehensive picture. Discussing other subjects or skills would demonstrate a broader range of achievements and provide more depth to your response.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
You've provided clear ideas and have described the process of overcoming difficulties with mathematics-related courses in your biology major. However, further discussion on how these experiences have developed specific skills or contributed to your overall academic growth would create a more comprehensive narrative.
Relevant Specific Examples
You have included the specific example of achieving an A- grade in differential calculus, demonstrating your ability to give relevant and specific examples. To improve even further, you could describe more examples from different areas of your studies, illustrating a wider range of academic achievements and skills acquired.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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