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Band 6.5

some people think university education should prepare student for employment. Other people think the university has other functions. Discuss both views and what do you think the function of the university.

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University
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 education is important to acquire and there are many benefits of studying in
university
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. Many people think that universities should solely prepare
students
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 for
employment
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,
while
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 others think that
university
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 has many other things to offer.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and conclude with my opinion.
Firstly
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,
university
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 education should lead to good
employment
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 opportunities and
that is
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 the ultimate goal of many
students
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.
University
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 offers many programs for
employment
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 and every
university
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 conducts placements where
students
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 give interviews in participating companies to get
employment
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. There are many other things which are important for a student to get
employment
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 which can't be solely achieved by chasing
employment
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functions
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. They should be academically strong to be eligible for
employment
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 because the first thing any interviewer will look at is their mark sheet and after that, they will
also
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 check their soft skills and analytical thinking abilities.
However
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, if we look at the other side,
then
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 joining a
university
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 just to get
employment
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 should not be the sole purpose because the
university
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 has many other
functions
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 to offer like group projects and assignments. There are many other experiences that
students
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 should gain like technical festivals, final year projects and college championships for their professional growth.
University
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also
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 teaches many other things like sports, mental wellness and physical wellness, which are very important for their personal growth. In conclusion, after discussing both views, I think universities should offer other
functions
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 including
employment
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-related
functions
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 where they can teach soft skills and professional skills, which can be helpful in their
overall
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 growth.

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task achievement
Consider strengthening your task response by providing more specific examples to support your statements. For instance, refer to particular programs or initiatives offered by universities that demonstrate their multi-faceted role beyond employment preparation.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. While your essay has a logical structure, more sophisticated transitions could improve the flow of information.
task achievement
Deepen your analysis of each perspective by exploring the implications or reasons behind those views. This could involve discussing why some believe in the narrow focus on employment, while others advocate for a broader educational experience.
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