IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

#meat
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Nowadays, some
people
Use synonyms
 become vegetarian and do not eat
meat
Use synonyms
 and animal
meat
Use synonyms
 in general. Most
people
Use synonyms
 claim that eliminating
meat
Use synonyms
 from diet has
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 good effects on health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that eating
vegetables
Use synonyms
 is enough for having
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
body
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, eating
meat
Use synonyms
 is necessary for
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
body
Use synonyms
. In the following paragraphs, I will explain my view of
point
Correct article usage
the point
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 in more detail. First of all, humans need
meat
Use synonyms
 and plants to be healthy. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words,
dietitian
Fix the agreement mistake
dietitians
show examples
 recommend that essential nutrients are obtained by eating
meat
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 and
vegetables
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. Fruits and
vegetables
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 give vitamins and
meat
Use synonyms
 provides important proteins to the human
body
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.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 the lack of one of the nutrients in
diet
Add an article
the diet
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 causes malnutrition. For
instant
Replace the word
instance
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, I got hair loss because I did not eat fish for a short time when I was in the dormitory so I took
omega_3
Correct your spelling
omega-3
vitamin
Fix the agreement mistake
vitamins
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 because of my hair loss.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should provide their dishes with a wide range of foods.
Above all
Linking Words
, since their jobs involve intense tension, they need more proteins.
Secondly
Linking Words
, having enough muscles is as significant as other factors for being healthy. As bodybuilding
say
Correct subject-verb agreement
says
show examples
,
for
Change preposition
to
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 build muscle
people
Use synonyms
 should eat more
meat
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. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recently
Change the adverb
recent
show examples
 research,
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
 cannot provide enough proteins only by eating
vegetables
Use synonyms
. Of course, muscles can help
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
body
Use synonyms
 endurance and long life. For
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
 when
Use synonyms
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
 burns calories, it needs
meat
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 and protein to grow its muscles. As an example, it is observed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who eat
meat
Use synonyms
 enough do not complain of back pain.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should eat
meat
Use synonyms
 like
vegetables
Use synonyms
for having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 life and health.
Submitted by arvinps on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should clearly follow from the one before, making the reader's journey through the text coherent and understandable.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion to effectively frame your essay. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
While you provided some examples, aim to support your main points with more detailed evidence and reasoning to make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Expand on the ideas presented to give a more complete response to the essay prompt. Demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic by discussing various aspects and implications of the argument.
task achievement
Work on expressing ideas more comprehensively. Aim for clarity in presenting your argument, avoiding general statements and focusing instead on specific, in-depth analysis.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your argument. This will strengthen your essay by providing clear evidence for your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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