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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below provides information about the top ten rice producing countries in the world in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below provides information about the top ten rice producing countries in the world in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant
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The bar chart depicts the ranking of
countries
Use synonyms
 based on their rice production in 2015. The numerical values correspond to metric tonnes. In general,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 China was the primary rice provider,
while
Linking Words
 Japan had the lowest proportion as a supplier. There were two
countries
Use synonyms
 that vastly produced rice in 2015.
First,
Linking Words
China with 144,560, followed by India with 104,800. After that, the third and fourth
countries
Use synonyms
 had a very huge gap with the former. There was Indonesia
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 produced nearly
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of India, and Bangladesh just slightly below Indonesia which was 34,500.
Next,
Linking Words
still in the ASEAN
countries
Use synonyms
, was Vietnam with 28,234,
while
Linking Words
 Thailand had 10,000 tons under Vietnam.
Then
Linking Words
, the numbers dropped for the following
countries
Use synonyms
: Burma with 12,600 and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 with 11,915.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Japan and Brazil had small figures with accumulated numbers
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 15,000
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 Japan
was
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 the lowest.
Submitted by erniwbs on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries with synonyms.
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