It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Many of us believe that taking
risks
in Use synonyms
professional
Correct pronoun usage
our professional
lives
Use synonyms
as well as
in our personal Linking Words
lives
is very crucial.
The main advantages of taking Use synonyms
risks
are growth and prosperity, and overcoming the struggles of career and domestic Use synonyms
life
.These reasons clearly outweigh the disadvantages which are the loss of everything and the aim of unrealistic goals.
To commence with,the principal pro is to take steps in the career Use synonyms
life
and in the personal Use synonyms
life
.It is generally believed that when folks take Use synonyms
risks
in their Use synonyms
lives
,they achieve their goals.Use synonyms
For instance
,Pakistan national cricket team player Haris Rauf took the Linking Words
risk
of being jobless,he went to take part in the Lahore Qalander selection and development program.There,he selected and now he Use synonyms
lives
a prosperous Use synonyms
life
.So,Use synonyms
risk
is mandatory to get success in both professional and personal Use synonyms
lives
.The second advantage is to overcome the obstacles of Use synonyms
life
.Use synonyms
Moreover
,It is considered that man can only succeed in his Linking Words
life
if he has the courage to take Use synonyms
risks
.The reward of Use synonyms
risk
might be beautiful.Use synonyms
Therefore
,Linking Words
the first step is
necessary to win against difficulties.
Linking Words
On the other hand
,Linking Words
this
situation has disadvantages as well.The principal negative point is the loss of everything.As everyone knows Linking Words
risks
have their own hazards.Taking a step might end up in the loss of a job and being homeless.Use synonyms
In addition
,Linking Words
risk
in personal Use synonyms
life
is more effective because it has consequences on family and relationships.Use synonyms
Risk
has personal downsides as well.Use synonyms
For example
,If I decide to swim Linking Words
then
might be I drownded.Linking Words
Risk
is always present with success.
In conclusion,having risky steps gives opportunities for growth and prosperity and to handle difficulties Use synonyms
of
both Change preposition
in
Use synonyms
lives
professional and personal.These positive points have more worth than their drawbacks.Verb problem
apply
Submitted by jamalashraf45 on
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Coherence
It would be beneficial to structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs to facilitate a logical flow. Each paragraph should deal with one main point, and the connection between these points needs to be more explicitly stated.
Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but these could be more impactful by stating your position more clearly and summarizing your arguments effectively in the conclusion.
Task Response
Your response seems to be somewhat complete, but it lacks a clear position throughout the essay. A stronger stance on the topic, with more developed arguments, would enhance your task achievement score.
Ideas
While some ideas are presented, they need to be clearer and more comprehensive. Developing each point fully will result in an essay that better addresses the task.
Examples
Use specific, relevant examples to support your claims. The current examples are somewhat general and do not unequivocally demonstrate the advantages or disadvantages of taking risks.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example