IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph below shows details about the exact amount of the total population in four Asian
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with
Correct article usage
a forcast
show examples
forcast
Correct your spelling
forecast
 for 2030 and 2040. The Graph clearly shows in 1970 the lowest
popuplation
Correct your spelling
population
 is Indonesia
jyst
Correct your spelling
just
 over 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 one is Thailand which is
juns
Correct your spelling
just
 under 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The third one
areThailand
Correct your spelling
are Thailand
 and
Correct article usage
the Philipines
show examples
Philipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
show examples
wchich
Correct your spelling
which
 show the same amount of nearly 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. For the next 20
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 all of the four Asian
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 show
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 slight decrease. After 1990 there
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
appeared different amount of populations. There is a boom in Malaysia's
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 and it
Correct your spelling
continuously
continously grown
Add the auxiliary verb
has continously grown
grew
show examples
 to 90 %.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 there are some increase
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shown in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 from 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 - 2010. and other two countries
such
Linking Words
 as Thailand and Indonesia have a
staible
Correct your spelling
stable
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 from 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 45
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. in
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
staible
Correct your spelling
stable
grows
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 in all of the four Asian countries.
Submitted by kamashzhazira on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: