The maintainance of public libraries is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function.

#maintainance #libraries #waste #money #computer #technologies #function

Public

libraries

were seen as a

brainstrom

Correct your spelling

brainstorm

of knowledge in previous days

whilist

Correct your spelling

while

the usage of

libraries

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

declining

due to

new technological facilities. Some people

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that renewing the

library

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

of money.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

I totally disagree

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

view and explain my opinion in

this

essay.

Firstly

libraries

contain most of the old novels and literature

books

which are

paper based

Add a hyphen

paper-based

show examples

and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are not updated as softcopies. If

any

Correct your spelling

anyone

show examples

one

Add a verb

one is

one was

show examples

interested to read those

books

, they can go to the

library

and

barrow

Correct your spelling

borrow

show examples

books

instead

of paying lots of money

for buying

Change preposition

to buy

show examples

Therefore

, some money has to be allocated to maintain and preserve those

books

Lastly

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

many people prefer to read

paper based

Add a hyphen

paper-based

show examples

materials

such

as articles, newspapers and

books

rather than scrolling mobile

phonesand

Correct your spelling

phones and

computers.

In other

words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

individuals feel some difficulties

while

reading

books

or some students

Add a missing verb

are encage

show examples

encage

Correct your spelling

engage

show examples

to study printed

books

and papers

due to

eye sight

Correct your spelling

eyesight

show examples

pain and low concentration.

For example

, elders used to read printed versions to avoid these problems.

Moreover

, they have enough spare time to spend in

library

Add an article

the library

a library

show examples

as many of them have a

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

of reading

books

as well as

news papers

Correct your spelling

newspapers

show examples

library

Add an article

the library

show examples

. In conclusion, digital updation has huge benefits and

flexible

Add a missing verb

is flexible

show examples

for humans, the

preference

Fix the agreement mistake

preferences

show examples

of some people and the importance of old

books

have a huge impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

maintainance

Correct your spelling

maintenance

of public

libraries

and it has to be preserved for future

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

Submitted by gaya002.nesa on Sun Dec 31 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay somewhat addresses the prompt; however, it needs to concentrate more on direct responses to the task. The argument should be developed further with a clearer, more specific thesis statement and a stronger line of reasoning linking the importance of public libraries to their maintenance despite the advent of digital alternatives.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of the essay is basic, with an introduction and conclusion, but the development of ideas within paragraphs is lacking and transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother to assist coherence. Additionally, pay attention to the exact task requirement which is the discussion of the impact of computer technologies on library relevancy, not just the overall importance of libraries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The maintainance of public libraries is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The floor plan shows changes made to a home during a 6-month period.

Some people think that modern tecchnology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?