The maintainance of public libraries is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function.

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Public
libraries
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were seen as a
brainstrom
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brainstorm
of knowledge in previous days
whilist
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while
the usage of
libraries
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are
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is
show examples
declining
due to
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new technological facilities. Some people
belive
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believe
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that renewing the
library
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is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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of money.
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However
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However,
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I totally disagree
the
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with the
show examples
view and explain my opinion in
this
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essay.
Firstly
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,
libraries
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contain most of the old novels and literature
books
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which are
paper based
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paper-based
show examples
and
they
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apply
show examples
are not updated as softcopies. If
any
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anyone
show examples
one
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one is
one was
show examples
interested to read those
books
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, they can go to the
library
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and
barrow
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borrow
show examples
books
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instead
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of paying lots of money
for buying
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to buy
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.
Therefore
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, some money has to be allocated to maintain and preserve those
books
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.
Lastly
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,
any
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apply
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many people prefer to read
paper based
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paper-based
show examples
materials
such
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as articles, newspapers and
books
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rather than scrolling mobile
phonesand
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phones and
computers.
In other
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words
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words,
show examples
individuals feel some difficulties
while
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reading
books
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or some students
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are encage
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encage
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engage
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to study printed
books
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and papers
due to
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eye sight
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eyesight
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pain and low concentration.
For example
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, elders used to read printed versions to avoid these problems.
Moreover
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, they have enough spare time to spend in
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library
Add an article
the library
a library
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as many of them have a
habbit
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habit
of reading
books
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as well as
Linking Words
news papers
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newspapers
show examples
in
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library
Add an article
the library
show examples
. In conclusion, digital updation has huge benefits and
flexible
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is flexible
show examples
for humans, the
preference
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preferences
show examples
of some people and the importance of old
books
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have a huge impact
for
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on
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the
maintainance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
of public
libraries
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and it has to be preserved for future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
Submitted by gaya002.nesa on

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Task Achievement
The essay somewhat addresses the prompt; however, it needs to concentrate more on direct responses to the task. The argument should be developed further with a clearer, more specific thesis statement and a stronger line of reasoning linking the importance of public libraries to their maintenance despite the advent of digital alternatives.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is basic, with an introduction and conclusion, but the development of ideas within paragraphs is lacking and transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother to assist coherence. Additionally, pay attention to the exact task requirement which is the discussion of the impact of computer technologies on library relevancy, not just the overall importance of libraries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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