The maintainance of public libraries is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function.

#maintainance #libraries #waste #money #computer #technologies #function

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Public

libraries

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were seen as a

brainstrom

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brainstorm

of knowledge in previous days

whilist

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while

the usage of

libraries

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

declining

due to

Linking Words

new technological facilities. Some people

belive

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believe

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that renewing the

library

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waste

Correct article usage

a waste

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of money.

Linking Words

However

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However,

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I totally disagree

the

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with the

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view and explain my opinion in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Firstly

Linking Words

libraries

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contain most of the old novels and literature

books

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which are

paper based

Add a hyphen

paper-based

show examples

and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are not updated as softcopies. If

any

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anyone

show examples

one

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one is

one was

show examples

interested to read those

books

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, they can go to the

library

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and

barrow

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borrow

show examples

books

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instead

Linking Words

of paying lots of money

for buying

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to buy

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Therefore

Linking Words

, some money has to be allocated to maintain and preserve those

books

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Lastly

Linking Words

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

many people prefer to read

paper based

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paper-based

show examples

materials

such

Linking Words

as articles, newspapers and

books

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rather than scrolling mobile

phonesand

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phones and

computers.

In other

Linking Words

words

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words,

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individuals feel some difficulties

while

Linking Words

reading

books

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or some students

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are encage

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encage

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engage

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to study printed

books

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and papers

due to

Linking Words

eye sight

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eyesight

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pain and low concentration.

For example

Linking Words

, elders used to read printed versions to avoid these problems.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they have enough spare time to spend in

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library

Add an article

the library

a library

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as many of them have a

habbit

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habit

of reading

books

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as well as

Linking Words

news papers

Correct your spelling

newspapers

show examples

Use synonyms

library

Add an article

the library

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. In conclusion, digital updation has huge benefits and

flexible

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is flexible

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for humans, the

preference

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preferences

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of some people and the importance of old

books

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have a huge impact

for

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show examples

the

maintainance

Correct your spelling

maintenance

of public

libraries

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and it has to be preserved for future

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

Submitted by gaya002.nesa on Sun Dec 31 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

The essay somewhat addresses the prompt; however, it needs to concentrate more on direct responses to the task. The argument should be developed further with a clearer, more specific thesis statement and a stronger line of reasoning linking the importance of public libraries to their maintenance despite the advent of digital alternatives.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of the essay is basic, with an introduction and conclusion, but the development of ideas within paragraphs is lacking and transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother to assist coherence. Additionally, pay attention to the exact task requirement which is the discussion of the impact of computer technologies on library relevancy, not just the overall importance of libraries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

238 words

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Fully explain your ideas

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