Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is argued by some that
school
should prohibit their students
to use
mobile Change preposition
from using
phones
at
class, Change preposition
in
while
the
others believe that Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
phone
usage
should not be banned at school
. In my opinion, school
should allow their Fix the agreement mistake
schools
students
to bring their mobile phone
to Fix the agreement mistake
phones
school
but with limited usage
during class and allow for the
study Correct article usage
apply
purpose
only.
On the one hand, teachers who ban their Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
students
to use
Change preposition
from using
phone
believe that Fix the agreement mistake
phones
phone
could break Fix the agreement mistake
phones
students
' concentration and cause crime
behaviours Replace the word
criminal
between
Change preposition
among
students
. Popular application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
such
as social medias
and mobile games undoubtedly are the biggest distraction for Correct your spelling
media
students
at
their study time, and Change preposition
during
the
excessive Correct article usage
apply
usage
of these application
can lead to Change the determiner
this application
these applications
phone
addiction. Moreover
, owning the sophisticated and expensive phone
models could impact to the envious among students
and might result in criminal behaviour such
as phone
stole
.
Change the form of the verb
stolen
On the other hand
, people who are pro to the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
phone
usage
at school
believe that phone
are important Fix the agreement mistake
phones
tool
for Fix the agreement mistake
tools
students
' communication. Firstly
, parents may provide their children with mobile phones
because this
is the only way to communicate for both parents and the children as a daily need or even for an emergency condition. Furthermore
, due to
the advancement of technology, school
cultivate technology for the learning experience Fix the agreement mistake
schools
such
as laptops and mobile phone
. Fix the agreement mistake
phones
Therefore
, the mobile phone
could support the students
like
browsing for additional Change preposition
by
materias
or Correct your spelling
material
discuss
Wrong verb form
discussing
school
subjects with their teachers and peers through group chat messages.
In conclusion, while
there are some debates whether
Change preposition
about whether
students
could use their phones
at school
or not, I still believe that using the phones
wisely could support students
activity at Change noun form
students'
student's
school
and their learning process. Teachers should closely control their students
while
using phones
at
class to prevent the negative impact.Change preposition
in
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task achievement
Ensure that you provide a more balanced overview in your introduction without directly providing your own opinion from the start. This will allow you to discuss both viewpoints more impartially before concluding with your own perspective.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Avoid overly simplistic conjunctions and strive for more complex grammatical structures to enhance the coherence of your arguments.
task achievement
While you have supplied general supporting arguments, your essay would benefit from the inclusion of specific, detailed examples to illustrate your points more effectively. Real-world examples or personal anecdotes could greatly strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay's overall clarity and cohesion, consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should contain a clear topic sentence and subsequent sentences that expound on that topic, leading to a strong concluding sentence that ties back to the overall essay argument.
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