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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#imports #fish #perth #australia #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table provides information about fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 supplies in Perth, Australia during the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2004-2014. Generally, Perth's fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 were supplied from two sources, the local catches and imports and for a 10-year
period
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 the local
fish
Use synonyms
 dominated the market.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Perth's fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 resources gradually increased during the 2004-2010
period
Use synonyms
,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
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 with 3142 metric tons (
MT
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) in 2004 and
finished
Wrong verb form
finishing
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 at 8035
MT
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
However
Linking Words
, the trend
then
Linking Words
 decreased in 2012 and remained stable for 2013-2014 around 5800
MT
Use synonyms
. Around 70 to 80% of
fish
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 were caught by local fishermen compared to around 20% of
fish
Use synonyms
 were imported.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the local catches showed a positive trend for
2004
Correct article usage
the 2004
show examples
-2009
period
Use synonyms
. The
fish
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 supplies started with just 2677
MT
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 in 2004 and reached the highest production with 7844
MT
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 in 2009. After that, the local catches decreased to just 6831
MT
Use synonyms
 in 2010 and continued
stable
Correct word choice
to stabilise at
show examples
 around 4000-5000
MT
Use synonyms
 for the
last
Linking Words
 3 years. The imported
fish
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 production
Verb problem
apply
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased significantly during 2004-2010 but for the 2011-2013
period
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 the production was stable
Change preposition
at
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 1000-1200
MT
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 and finished with just 782
MT
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
Submitted by nadhif2799 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, period, mt with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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