IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The two maps below illustrate the visualization of a university's
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 centre at present and
proposed
Correct article usage
the proposed
show examples
 plan
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the future.
Overall
, it shows that the sport area will be larger than before and have more facilities, like
Correct article usage
a leasure
show examples
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
pool
, dance studio, cafe, and sports shop. Looking at the details of the diagram
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 information that the
outdoors
Replace the word
outdoor
show examples
 courts on the right and left side of the
pool
 building
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 removed and changed to be
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 hall and leisure
pool
. On the corner of the site, it will be changing place.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
, we can find commercial
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
show examples
 on the right and left gate;
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 and sports market where in the previous, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 none
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In the future plan, two dance studios will be built on the east side.
Furthermore
, the gym construction will be enlarged. Not only the
pool
, seating site, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reception room
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will never be demolished,
the
Correct word choice
but the
show examples
 changing room to the west of the
pool
 will be
also
 maintained, so the visitors will have more space to change their
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
.
Submitted by dyahkusumaningrum18 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a logical flow and clear progression of ideas. Sentences are poorly structured, and there's an abrupt beginning and end with no clear introduction or conclusion. To improve, structure the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises the main points.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat incomplete. While there's an attempted overview, it fails to summarise all key features and make clear comparisons where relevant. To enhance task response, provide a more detailed overview, ensure all main features are included, and draw clear comparisons between the current and planned layouts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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