Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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A group of individuals present the view that advertisers are highly accomplished in encouraging us to purchase what they tell us to,

whereas

Linking Words

others argue that we are not influenced by

advertisements

Use synonyms

anymore. I strongly agree with the former opinion. Several

people

Use synonyms

are justifiably of the opinion that advertising is still a strong

way

Use synonyms

for factories in order to sway

people

Use synonyms

into purchasing their products. They believe producers have already understood the fact that old-fashioned advertising methods

such

Linking Words

as TV commercial ads do not interest

people

Use synonyms

anymore,

thus

Linking Words

they have other state-of-the-art ways to perform efficiently in advertising.

For instance

Linking Words

, in our modern time, creative studios and art directors take the responsibility of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

factory advertising and show

people

Use synonyms

what a certain product is capable of and the role it can play in

people

Use synonyms

’s lives, differently. They even use social media or any other platforms that

people

Use synonyms

communicate through a lot these days to make advertising more interesting and attractive. A

further

Linking Words

group of individuals claim that

people

Use synonyms

not only are not interested in

advertisements

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

know it as a

way

Use synonyms

to be defrauded by producers. They insist that factories may no longer be able to make

people

Use synonyms

trust them as they have not introduced their goods in a clear

way

Use synonyms

before.

However

Linking Words

, I do not find

this

Linking Words

argument convincing as not all producers undertake

such

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defrauding methods to influence

people

Use synonyms

. Some even utilize advertising to inform their customers about their sales or promotions and

as a result

Linking Words

, they benefit both themselves and

people

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, in my view, several creative methods in which

advertisements

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can be displayed make it still appealing to

people

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for opting what to buy.

Moreover

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, the

way

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advertisements

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can be used to relay information about cost reductions or offerings will make them look beneficial to

people

Use synonyms

Submitted by mahtab.motevallian on Sun Dec 31 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You have included all three, but they could flow more smoothly. Consider using better transitional phrases to link your ideas coherently.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing your main points more thoroughly. You have made some assertions without sufficient evidence or examples to back them up. Always include relevant, specific examples to reinforce your argument.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt, and you provide both sides of the argument along with your own opinion, which is good. To achieve a higher band, your ideas need to be more fully extended and supported by stronger examples.

task achievement

Clarify and develop your ideas further. Your essay shows a sufficient understanding of the topic but lacks depth in the explanation. Try to examine the underlying reasons behind your claims and explore the implications.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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