IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the widespread use of interent , more and more peolpe choose to work from home. Do the advantage of this trend outwight the disadvantage?

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The
Internet
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 makes
peoples`
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people's
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 life more easy than in the previous centuries.
However
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 as all other things,
Add an article
the
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internet
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 has its advantages,
as well as
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 disadvantages, which are discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Use synonyms
Internet
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The Internet
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 enables
to
Correct pronoun usage
one to
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work
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 from almost every place where is
the the
Correct article usage
an
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internet
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 connection. It means public wifi networks or
for example
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 private hotspots. It seems to be unimaginably convenient. Amazingly, the other perfect opportunity is almost unlimited access to all information within a few seconds.
This
Linking Words
 ability of
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internet
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the internet
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 presents the best acceleration of our
work
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, without going through
of
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apply
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tons of books, papers and other information sources. In my opinion, the most important thing is
also
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 the immediate contact with all people around the world and it creates our working space worldwide. Sadly, not only the perfect
characters
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characteristics
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 of
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internet
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the internet
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 are widely known , but
also
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 the
backwards
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backward
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 influence
our
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on our
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 lives
by
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in
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inevitably
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inevitable
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 ways.
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
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 takes
us
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up
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 most of
our
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the
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 privacy we have. It is very simple to present some photos or data immediately on the network, regardless
the
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of the
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 consequences. It can our
work
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 damage in a few moments. Our ideas could be stolen, and our
effort
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efforts
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 could be destroyed. Maybe,
the
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apply
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data security is the most burning problem if we
work
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 only connected to the network.
To conclude
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, despite comprehensively known weak spots of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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, the
priviledge
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privilege
 of
the
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apply
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connection to the world and resources
asscess
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accessible
 from everywhere you want, will
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 all
negative
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the negative
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 issues we have to handle. I believe
,
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apply
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 the protection of
internet
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 nets will be improved and make our home
work
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 more safe.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows some organization with a basic structure; however, it needs to enhance clarity and logic in the argument. To improve coherence, sequentially develop your ideas and transitions between sentences. A clearer topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea would aid the reader. Cohesion can be strengthened through the use of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, synonyms, and referencing words. On a micro level, work on sentence-level structures to ensure that they connect smoothly to each other.
task achievement
While you provided a response to the task, the essay lacks a fully developed position regarding the advantages and disadvantages of working from home. To achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the task by including more extensive and specific reasons, details, and examples. Each main point should be elaborated on adequately to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic. It's essential to expand on examples to support your arguments effectively and reflect a complete engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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