IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the widespread use of interent , more and more peolpe choose to work from home. Do the advantage of this trend outwight the disadvantage?

#interent #peolpe #work #home #advantage #trend #outwight
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
nowadays
internet
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the internet
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 basic necessity
that is
Linking Words
 needed in life because everything can be done easily within a short period of time be it working,studying or even
communication
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communicating
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.in
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
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I
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 will lay down my point of view regarding
benefit
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the benefit
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 of
woking
Correct your spelling
working
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 from
home
Use synonyms
 .
firstly
Linking Words
 through
Add an article
the internet
show examples
Add a comma
internet,
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 we can find anything from buying groceries , online studying or even working .
theres
Correct your spelling
There are
 a lot of job opportunities that we can get from
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the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 that allow us to
work
Use synonyms
 remotely within our comfort house and the
payment
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pay
show examples
 is quite good.
for
Linking Words
example
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, a digital content creator ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 can
work
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 anywhere remotely and do their
work
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 without having to go to
work
Use synonyms
 .
moreover
Linking Words
 , working from
home
Use synonyms
 have a lot of benefits
for
Linking Words
example
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 people do not have to face any traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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 or a stressful
work
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 journey and they can manage their time more properly as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to people who
needs
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need
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 to attend
work
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 at
office
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the office
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. working from
home
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 can cut
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 in many ways
for
Linking Words
example
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 fuel consumption for daily
commute
Fix the agreement mistake
commutes
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 and dining out whenever we need to go to
work
Use synonyms
 .
with
Change preposition
apply
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the increase
living
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in living
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 expenses and a stagnant wage that we face nowadays have
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 us to change our way of living and working from
home
Use synonyms
 is actually reducing the burden we face.
for
Linking Words
example
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, there'
s
Correct your spelling
's
 one big oil and gas company in
malaysia
Change the capitalization
Malaysia
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,that gave out elaun for their employee to
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
 to decorate their
working place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 during the
covid
Correct your spelling
COVID
show examples
 era. in conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think the advantage of working from
home
Use synonyms
 really
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighs
 the disadvantage of it. we have flexibility in terms of where we want to
work
Use synonyms
 and reduced cost is one of the factors that strengthen my view.
Submitted by fatin on

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task achievement
While your essay does address the general topic, task response could be significantly improved by focusing more specifically on discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home. The prompt asks you to compare both sides and conclude if one outweighs the other. Ensure your response is balanced and addresses all parts of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay lacks clear organizational structure. Ideas should be presented in a logical sequence with clear paragraphing. Distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion are essential. Use cohesive devices to better connect your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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