People today are more concerned with owning material possessions than with developing friendships and family relationships. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
It is claimed that
people
in recent generations care
more about their own wealth which includes mobile phones, houses, cars…etc than bonding with their friends and family.I am partially agree
with the statement, one of the Change the verb form
partially agree
reason
is that Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
who always want to pursue the
better material possessions not only Correct article usage
apply
care
about themselves,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
want to have a great connection with others
.The other reason is they do spent
a lot of Wrong verb form
spend
time
to earn
money Change the verb form
earning
instead
of accompany
their friend and family.
On the one hand, the reason why Wrong verb form
accompanying
people
are obsessed with value
Correct article usage
the value
material
things is because the whole society is over complete with each other. Change preposition
of material
Besides
, due to
the popularity of social media, people
always compare themselves with each other and are always afraid if they do not have a
newest smartphone or clothes, they will lose the opportunity to act with Correct article usage
the
others
or will be underestimated. Moreover
, some people
care
about their property because they want to give their family a better life, not just for their own but they want to have a deeper and responsible relationship.
On the other hand
, in
these days, most Change preposition
apply
people
spend too much time
accumulating their possessions and that cause
them Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
do
not Unnecessary verb
apply
have
enough Fix the infinitive
to have
time
to maintain their friendships and family relationships,
because they have to work late and focus on their wealth Remove the comma
apply
and
Correct word choice
apply
that
means they do not have spare Correct pronoun usage
which
time
to interact with others
.
To sum up
, I think why people
want to have more material possessions is due to
their inner desire which they want to somehow interact with others
and that does not mean they do not care
about their relationships with friends or family.Submitted by JIllhuang0310 on
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.