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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The data given provides information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
tourists
Change to a genitive case
tourist's
tourists'
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 who visited four different museums in London from June to December
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who came to the
museum
Use synonyms
 fluctuated throughout
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 observed
period
Use synonyms
. It is stagnant in the first two months,
then
Linking Words
 spiked in the next month, and eventually slowly decreased until the end of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. During the
first-two
Correct your spelling
first two
show examples
 month
period
Use synonyms
, three different museums
consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
 of
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
, National, and Science
Museum
Use synonyms
, experienced a slight decrease respectively at 400,000
visitors
Use synonyms
, around 180,000
visitors
Use synonyms
, and 400,000
visitors
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 was the only
museum
Use synonyms
 with
constant
Change the article
a constant
the constant
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 at roughly 420,000
visitors
Use synonyms
. In the next month,
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
 and British
Museum
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
skyrocketed respectively at 600,000
people
Use synonyms
, and around 710,000
people
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
experiencing
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 a gradual
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 until December 2015.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 and Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 fluctuated and they recorded a
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 at approximately 190,000 tourists, and 300,000
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
 respectively
at the end
Linking Words
 of
given
Add an article
a given
the given
show examples
period
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, museum, period, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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