You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your hoetown that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your leter ．correct the information in the article ．explain why it is important for the magazine to give correct information ．suggest what the magazine should do about this situation

#article #travel #magazine #information #hoetown #editor #leter #．correct #．explain #．suggest #situation

Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Hitesh Dawar, I am a resident of Amritsar, Punjab. I recently read an article in an international magazine where you mentioned some

facts

related to our place.

However

, being a literature professional and an old local citizen, I found many mistakes in the article which I would like to bring to your notice. The prime concern is the

facts

mentioned are highly sensitive and related to the Sikh religion, in the first paragraph, you mentioned the history, which has wrong dates and the

saints

Change noun form

saint's

saints'

show examples

names .

Additionally

, you wrongly mentioned the

facts

about free food rituals as well. so I would like you to correct the given information. Your magazine has a huge reputation and a huge number of readers worldwide will read

this

article. Publishing the wrong

facts

hurts the sentiments as well, so It is highly important to change the required information and correct them as per the actual

facts

Furthermore

, I would like to suggest you stop spreading the current version of the magazine and take back all the copies available in the market. You can reprint the correct information and distribute it without any hesitation. Your active action on

this

matter would be highly appreciated . Yours Faithfully, Hitesh Dawar

Submitted by hiteshpaul on Mon Jan 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear central topic throughout, with distinct ideas not blending together.

coherence cohesion

Arrange your points more logically and use cohesive devices to show clearer relationships between ideas.

task achievement

Provide a full response to the task with each point developed fully and supported with relevant details.

task achievement

Maintain a formal tone consistently in line with letter writing conventions for format and style.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

215 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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