IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your hoetown that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your leter ．correct the information in the article ．explain why it is important for the magazine to give correct information ．suggest what the magazine should do about this situation

#article #travel #magazine #information #hoetown #editor #leter #．correct #．explain #．suggest #situation
Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Hitesh Dawar, I am a resident of Amritsar, Punjab. I recently read an article in an international magazine where you mentioned some
facts
 related to our place.
However
 , being a literature professional and an old local citizen, I found many mistakes in the article which I would like to bring to your notice. The prime concern is the
facts
 mentioned are highly sensitive and related to the Sikh religion, in the first paragraph, you mentioned the history, which has wrong dates and the
saints
Change noun form
saint's
saints'
show examples
names .
Additionally
 , you wrongly mentioned the
facts
 about free food rituals as well. so I would like you to correct the given information. Your magazine has a huge reputation and a huge number of readers worldwide will read
this
 article. Publishing the wrong
facts
 hurts the sentiments as well, so It is highly important to change the required information and correct them as per the actual
facts
 .
Furthermore
 , I would like to suggest you stop spreading the current version of the magazine and take back all the copies available in the market. You can reprint the correct information and distribute it without any hesitation. Your active action on
this
 matter would be highly appreciated . Yours Faithfully, Hitesh Dawar
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear central topic throughout, with distinct ideas not blending together.
coherence cohesion
Arrange your points more logically and use cohesive devices to show clearer relationships between ideas.
task achievement
Provide a full response to the task with each point developed fully and supported with relevant details.
task achievement
Maintain a formal tone consistently in line with letter writing conventions for format and style.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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