In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in someway. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Innovation is given a huge press. Nowadays, all of the
comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
and
business
owners
claim that we have the newest products, and
out
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our
show examples
aim is to just absorb your satisfaction. There might be some reasons for
this
incident.
Initially
, competition is a very significant factor among companies. Unlike past centuries, monopoly does not
exists
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
in any
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
. So producers and
business
owners
have to promote their advertisements toward
this
perspective that in spite of all varieties in the market, we can serve you the newest and the best
merchandises
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merchandise
show examples
.
For example
, Apple Company is launching disparate sets of technological devices per month, and it causes promotion competition among other
business
owners
who want to be superior. It is probable that
non
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none
show examples
of the new kinds of technology could be novel and useful for individuals, but the process of introducing new goods
interprets
Wrong verb form
is interpreted
show examples
in
crowd's
Correct article usage
the crowd's
show examples
mind as an innovating and pioneering way. As far as I am concerned, launching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new products into the market could be a beneficial gesture
due to
some reasons: First of all, it would update technology and the way of
progession
Correct your spelling
progression
for scientists.
For instance
, it could
helps
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help
show examples
you to not stay outdated from ubiquitous technology.
Secondly
, undoubtedly, it will
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
entreprenuers
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
to to attach the current of
business
and not stay back.
However
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
might be a drawback
which is
Verb problem
that
show examples
stimulates people's rivalry and
will provoke
Wrong verb form
provokes
show examples
a sense of jealousy which could
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
them
to keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
up with the Joneses.
Overall
, it is crystal clear that every innovation might have pros and cons, and
business
owners
strive
hardly
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hard
show examples
to compete with their rivals
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to overtake them in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-run
Correct your spelling
long run
show examples
.
Submitted by tg.persian on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly outlines the main idea and follows a logical order. Use cohesive devices appropriately to aid in the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more nuanced introduction and conclusion, stating clear opinions and summarising the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear and specific examples. These should directly relate to the prompt and demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task more completely. Make sure to provide a clear and direct answer to the question prompt and elaborate on it throughout the essay.
task achievement
Organize ideas clearly and logically, ensuring that each paragraph has a singular focus and that the essay as a whole addresses the prompt thoroughly.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples and details to support your arguments, ensuring relevance to the question and showcasing a depth of knowledge.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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