IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in someway. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#business #emphasise #products #someway #development
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Innovation is given a huge press. Nowadays, all of the
comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
 and
business
Use synonyms
owners
Use synonyms
 claim that we have the newest products, and
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 aim is to just absorb your satisfaction. There might be some reasons for
this
Linking Words
 incident.
Initially
Linking Words
, competition is a very significant factor among companies. Unlike past centuries, monopoly does not
exists
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exist
show examples
 in any
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
. So producers and
business
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owners
Use synonyms
 have to promote their advertisements toward
this
Linking Words
 perspective that in spite of all varieties in the market, we can serve you the newest and the best
merchandises
Fix the agreement mistake
merchandise
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, Apple Company is launching disparate sets of technological devices per month, and it causes promotion competition among other
business
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owners
Use synonyms
 who want to be superior. It is probable that
non
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none
show examples
 of the new kinds of technology could be novel and useful for individuals, but the process of introducing new goods
interprets
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is interpreted
show examples
 in
crowd's
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the crowd's
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 mind as an innovating and pioneering way. As far as I am concerned, launching
the
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apply
show examples
new products into the market could be a beneficial gesture
due to
Linking Words
 some reasons: First of all, it would update technology and the way of
progession
Correct your spelling
progression
 for scientists.
For instance
Linking Words
, it could
helps
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help
show examples
 you to not stay outdated from ubiquitous technology.
Secondly
Linking Words
, undoubtedly, it will
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
entreprenuers
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entrepreneurs
 to to attach the current of
business
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 and not stay back.
However
Linking Words
,
they
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there
show examples
 might be a drawback
which is
Verb problem
that
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 stimulates people's rivalry and
will provoke
Wrong verb form
provokes
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 a sense of jealousy which could
makes
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make
show examples
 them
to keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
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 up with the Joneses.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that every innovation might have pros and cons, and
business
Use synonyms
owners
Use synonyms
 strive
hardly
Change the word
hard
show examples
 to compete with their rivals
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to overtake them in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-run
Correct your spelling
long run
show examples
.
Submitted by tg.persian on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly outlines the main idea and follows a logical order. Use cohesive devices appropriately to aid in the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more nuanced introduction and conclusion, stating clear opinions and summarising the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear and specific examples. These should directly relate to the prompt and demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task more completely. Make sure to provide a clear and direct answer to the question prompt and elaborate on it throughout the essay.
task achievement
Organize ideas clearly and logically, ensuring that each paragraph has a singular focus and that the essay as a whole addresses the prompt thoroughly.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples and details to support your arguments, ensuring relevance to the question and showcasing a depth of knowledge.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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