As computers and technology develop, they can be used to teach children and teachers won’t be necessary soon. Do you agree or disagree?

I personally agree with the
motion
Correct your spelling
notion
show examples
that, as
technology
advancement and innovation enhance they will be used to educate learners and
teachers
won't be necessary because kids will learn through the websites
as well as
doing research online.
However
, it is essential for
teachers
be teach because it allows
children
to have full attention from educators and it
also
leads to unemployment for
teachers
. From my point of view, it won't be necessary for
teachers
to educate
children
because of new changes in
technology
because
children
will be educated through the website which makes it easier to interact with other students and they will be in a position to share different views.
Nonetheless
, it's logical to say
teachers
won't be necessary because it is very essential for students to have full attention from their educators going with them step by step
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
so,
this
will help slow learners to get material.
As a result
, changes in Information and
technology
are crucial because they give
stu
Correct your spelling
students
chances to learn online
as well as
allow them to interact with others.
In addition
, as laptops and machinery develop tutors will not be significant because learners will be doing research online. Computers allow
children
to find knowledge online
therefore
students will gain information and knowledge.
In contrast
,
this
is baseless because it leads to unemployment.If
technology
develops
teachers
can be unemployed and
this
will cause people to live under the poverty datum line.
Hence
, as monitors and
technology
develop it allows kids to do research
as a result
this
is essential.
Submitted by karigaruvimbo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the task prompt. Expand on your main points with further explanations and relevant examples. It is important to establish a clear position throughout your response and to have a balanced discussion if you're comparing contrasting points of view.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Work on organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas within and across paragraphs and make sure your essay flows logically from introduction to conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!