IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers, while others believe that students’ attitude are important. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #success #teachers #students’ #attitude
The opinion about the educational success depends on
good
Add an article
the good
a good
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 teacher or the
attitude
 from the
students
it self
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
 is really having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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two different sides. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational success
is depends
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depends
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from
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on
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 how we
absorbed
Wrong verb form
absorb
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this things
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
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 to be more functional in the future. It means that
students
'
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
 are really important in the first place. If we are more
focus
Replace the word
focused
show examples
 on the
students
'
attitude
 it could
be made
Wrong verb form
make
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 the
students
 become more
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
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of
Change preposition
for
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 doing the task and
responsibility
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responsible
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to
Change preposition
for
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 learning new things
in
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for
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 academic purposes.
Furthermore
, if we
much
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apply
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focus on good
teachers
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teachers'
teacher's
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 it could
be gives
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give
show examples
 effective communication with the
students
it self
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
.
However
, both
side
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sides
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having
Wrong verb form
have
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a very important roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
a very important role
very important roles
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.
A good teachers
Correct the article-noun agreement
Good teachers
A good teacher
show examples
 could
inspiring
Change the verb form
inspire
be inspiring
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 and
giving
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give
be giving
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 more
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 guide the
students
. But
students
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student's
students'
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attitude
 can make
most
Correct pronoun usage
them most
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 motivated. As far as I am concerned, both good teachers and
students
'
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
giving
Verb problem
have
show examples
a important roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
an important role
important roles
show examples
 to make academic success. A symbiotic mutualism can
optimilized
Correct your spelling
optimized
optimize
Correct article usage
an academical
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academical
Replace the word
academic
show examples
 environment.
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has an organized structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use paragraphs effectively to separate your points and improve readability. Consistently use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Focus on fully developing your main points with clear, relevant examples and explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is expanded upon with specific information.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Be clear and explicit, ensuring that your opinion does not contradict the viewpoints discussed and is well-supported by your arguments.
task achievement
Strive to articulate your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid generalized statements and work on providing more depth in your analysis. Each argument should be easy to follow and coherent.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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