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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.
#water #usage #san #diego #california #rest #world
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The 3 pie charts illustrate the rates of
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in
San
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Diego
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 County,
California
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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worldwide. Units are given by
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
wise
Correct word choice
apply
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the resident
water
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usage
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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made up the biggest
rate
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 in
San
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Diego
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 and
California
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while
Linking Words
 agriculture is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant part of the worldwide
water
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usage
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. In
San
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Diego
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,
residents
Change noun form
residents'
resident's
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water
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 intake
rate
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 is 60% and when compared to
California
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 it is more than 21%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
an
Correct article usage
apply
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industry
water
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 consumption in
California
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 accounting for 33% and
San
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Diego
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's industry
water
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usage
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 is less than 10%
to
Change preposition
of
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California
Use synonyms
.
An
Correct article usage
The
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 agricultural sector in Both
California
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 and Sam
Diego
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 is 28% and 17% respectively. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of worldwide, the most significant
rate
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 is
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
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water
Use synonyms
 needs and
a
Change the article
the
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least
Correct word choice
lowest
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rate
Use synonyms
 of
water
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user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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 is residential requirements. It is made up 8%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Sen
Diego
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's industry
feild
Correct your spelling
field
rate
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 of
water
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usage
Use synonyms
 is similar to
worldwide
Correct article usage
the worldwide
show examples
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 and it is 23%.
Submitted by ranasinghenadeeshani07 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, usage, san, diego, california, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • households
  • significant
  • industrial use
  • implications
  • agriculture
  • geographical
  • climatic
  • economic factors
  • patterns
  • sustainability
  • practices
  • surprising
  • exceptionally
  • improvements
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