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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the global demand for different textile fibres between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the global demand for different textile fibres between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#demand #textile #fibres #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph presents interesting information about different textile material requirements between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1980 and 2015. The curves present
polyester
Use synonyms
,
cotton
Use synonyms
,
cellulosic
Use synonyms
 and wool
production
Use synonyms
. Their amounts are depicted in million
tons
Use synonyms
.
Cotton
Use synonyms
 fibres had the highest
production
Use synonyms
, over 10 million
tons
Use synonyms
, in 1980. Its
production
Use synonyms
 was followed by
polyester
Use synonyms
 ,with numbers around 5 million
tons
Use synonyms
, and
Linking Words
subsequently
Add a comma
subsequently,
show examples
 the lowest numbers were observed in
cellulosic
Use synonyms
 and
woll
Correct your spelling
wool
. The intensity of textile productivity slightly fluctuated between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1980 and 2000. Surprisingly,
production
Use synonyms
 of
polyester
Use synonyms
 soared in 2000, and its increasing trend continued until 2015.
Also
Linking Words
 in
cotton
Use synonyms
 and
cellulosic
Use synonyms
 textiles
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 possible to observe
slightly
Add an article
a slightly
show examples
 less significant rise in
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
tons
Use synonyms
, and
similarly
Linking Words
 here
also
Linking Words
 persisted the increasing trend. On the opposite,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wool
production
Use synonyms
 declined between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2000 and 2015.
To conclude
Linking Words
, textile fibres
production
Use synonyms
 of
polyester
Use synonyms
,
cotton
Use synonyms
 and
cellulosic
Use synonyms
 proved continuously
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 trend since 2000, with
preference
Add an article
the preference
a preference
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
polyester
Use synonyms
,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wool
production
Use synonyms
 was steadily lower after 2000
Submitted by jana.smalcova on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words polyester, cotton, cellulosic, production, tons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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