The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying drinking habits in five Australian cities

The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying drinking habits in five Australian cities
The given bar chart represents the report about citizen's
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
and tea purchasing and drinking natures in five (
Sydney
,
Melbourne
, Brisbane,
Adelade
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
,
Hobart
) different Australian
citites
Correct your spelling
cities
in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
4 weeks.
Overall
, nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
percentage of people in
Melbourne
and
Hobart
went to
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
for
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
and tea in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
4 weeks.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
Hobart
bought more instant
coffe thand
Correct your spelling
coffee than
Sydney
, but
Sydney
residents purchased less fresh
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
in comparison with other countries in Australia.
Although
every city
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiences
show examples
fluctuations
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
daily habits. The
habits
Fix the agreement mistake
habit
show examples
of buying fresh
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
just under 45% in
Sydney
, which was the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
amongst all the cities in the chart, and for Brisbane and
Adelade
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
the rate was almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, about 34%.
This
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
the lowest
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of the cities.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
the public of
Melbourne
went to a restaurant most, it was about 63%.
While
Adelade
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
contributed
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
in terms of
Correct your spelling
coffee
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
or tea about 49%
Furthermore
, in accordance with instant
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
,
Hobart
and Brisbane witnessed more than
any
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
cities,
this
was about 54% and 53% respectively.
Adelade
's
purchased
Replace the word
purchase
show examples
history was about 50% which was 5% more than
Sydney
Change noun form
Sydney's
show examples
and about 2%
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
greater than
Melbourne
Change noun form
Melbourne's
show examples
.
Submitted by sahareatushar124 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, on the other hand".
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffe, sydney, melbourne, adelade, hobart with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 7 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • preference
  • beverage
  • caffeine
  • demographics
  • trend
  • survey
  • cultural significance
  • habit
  • seasonal variation
  • health consciousness
  • availability
  • implications
  • urban vs. rural consumption
  • data interpretation
  • quantitative analysis
  • fluctuations
  • patterns
  • peak times
  • economical impact
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