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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying drinking habits in five Australian cities

The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying drinking habits in five Australian cities
#survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The given bar chart represents the report about citizen's
Use synonyms
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 and tea purchasing and drinking natures in five (
Sydney
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,
Melbourne
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, Brisbane,
Use synonyms
Adelade
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
,
Hobart
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) different Australian
citites
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cities
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 percentage of people in
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 and
Hobart
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 went to
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 and tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
Hobart
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 bought more instant
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coffe thand
Correct your spelling
coffee than
Sydney
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, but
Sydney
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 residents purchased less fresh
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coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 in comparison with other countries in Australia.
Although
Linking Words
 every city
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiences
show examples
 fluctuations
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
daily habits. The
habits
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habit
show examples
 of buying fresh
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coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
was
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were
show examples
 just under 45% in
Sydney
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, which was the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 amongst all the cities in the chart, and for Brisbane and
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Adelade
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 the rate was almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, about 34%.
This
Linking Words
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
 the lowest
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the cities.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the public of
Melbourne
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 went to a restaurant most, it was about 63%.
While
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Adelade
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 contributed
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 in terms of
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
coffee
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 or tea about 49%
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in accordance with instant
Use synonyms
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
,
Hobart
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 and Brisbane witnessed more than
any
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 cities,
this
Linking Words
 was about 54% and 53% respectively.
Adelade
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's
purchased
Replace the word
purchase
show examples
 history was about 50% which was 5% more than
Use synonyms
Sydney
Change noun form
Sydney's
show examples
 and about 2%
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
greater than
Use synonyms
Melbourne
Change noun form
Melbourne's
show examples
.
Submitted by sahareatushar124 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, on the other hand".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffe, sydney, melbourne, adelade, hobart with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 7 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • preference
  • beverage
  • caffeine
  • demographics
  • trend
  • survey
  • cultural significance
  • habit
  • seasonal variation
  • health consciousness
  • availability
  • implications
  • urban vs. rural consumption
  • data interpretation
  • quantitative analysis
  • fluctuations
  • patterns
  • peak times
  • economical impact
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