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Band 4

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or a negative development?

#intelligence #drive #cars #development
In the present time artificial intelligence has cropped up for
cars
 because most people are trying to save the ecosystem by less burning fuel, in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
,
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it has fairly
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
 rather than benefits
due to
 ,
makes
Wrong verb form
making
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 people lazy . the main reason for that development is
maintain
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to maintain
maintaining
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 Earth from pollution .
sinc
Correct your spelling
since
one of the newest products is electronic
cars
 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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work
by
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on
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electricity which is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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preferable to using
car
Add an article
the car
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 by gasoline . when we tend to use that kind of car the number of
cars
 will be less because it is
quit
Correct your spelling
quite
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 expensive .by
this
 we keep wildlife
as well as
 their habitat.namely , when
i
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I
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 went to Germany I saw
Add an article
an
the
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electronic car that had stopped in the middle of the road when
i
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I
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 asked about why my
freind
Correct your spelling
friend
 said that because the road was freezing so it was a great way to save our life and animals' life as well . refers to the second question ,
i
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I
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 strongly believe that
this
 creation is negative more than positive, as it
one
Add a missing verb
is one
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 of the
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 that makes individuals less energetic , for give you a clear idea if we do our activities by
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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hand or foot maybe it takes more time
although
 it is more healthy and help us to keep in shape . using artificial intelligence has been increasing in recent years
as a result
citizins
Correct your spelling
citizens
 more suffering from obesity . in conclusion , at present use of electronic
cars
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more prevalent in order to mitigate the impact of climate change
such
 as pollution, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has a lot of disadvantages but the main
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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lazy
Replace the word
laziness
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 and low morale.
Submitted by dler_shakar on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to have an identifiable paragraph that introduces the topic and states your main argument and a concluding paragraph that summarizes your points and reiterates your stance.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Ideas and arguments should flow naturally from one to the next with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
supported main points
Support your main points with clear, specific examples. While you provided an anecdote, it would be beneficial to include more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
complete response
Your response addresses the topic, but the development of ideas is limited and not fully expanded. Be sure to give sufficient reasons and explanations for your views.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to present your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid overgeneralizations and ensure that your arguments are easy to follow with logical justifications.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This adds credibility to your essay and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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