IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

“All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone.” To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#“all #education #healthcare #government
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The
Correct article usage
Education
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 and healthcare are very important
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 in our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and they are important for every free person . From my perspective , I completely agree with the statement for
tow
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 reasons ,
firstly
Linking Words
 ,not all
people
Use synonyms
 can pay for
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 daily needs because of their
life
Use synonyms
 state
.
Correct your spelling
Secondly
secondly
Linking Words
 , both of
these service
Change the determiner
this service
these services
show examples
 are
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 basic
wrights
Correct your spelling
rights
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. On
Use synonyms
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most important
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
life
Use synonyms
 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , any
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 can not be
advance
Wrong verb form
advanced
show examples
with
Change preposition
without
show examples
 out learning and teaching process .
Consequently
Linking Words
 , we can
absorve
Correct your spelling
absorb
 the level of learning from the country itself .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 when we travel to britch country we note
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of development every year and
this
Linking Words
 refers to
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of knowledge and skills of
people
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 .
Hence
Linking Words
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 should get learning not important the method just learning and that why
education
Use synonyms
 should be free to arrive to
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 to
any where
Join the words
anywhere
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
heltheycare
Verb problem
health is
show examples
 not different
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 because
increase
Add an article
the increase
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 diseases .
For instance
Linking Words
 ,
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in poor country get the treatment by paying and
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of them can not pay
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
rise
Add an article
the rise
a rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
numper
Correct article usage
the numper
show examples
 of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , the government should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cooperation
Replace the word
cooperate
show examples
 with the
people
Use synonyms
 and try to be better to have free treatment. In conclusion , in my personal
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I strongly agree
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 both of these services
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lead to
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
 of
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
 to
Add an article
a
show examples
better
life
Use synonyms
 for each person .
Thus
Linking Words
 , the government should be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and try to facilitate their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by fatmaalraqadi579 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides an introduction and conclusion, which partially meets the coherence requirements, but the logical structure is weak due to a lack of clear paragraphing and poor sentence structure. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and is organized logically with fully developed and relevant points. Use linking words effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic, but the response is incomplete and fails to provide a clear argument. Ideas are presented but not well-developed with specific examples or evidence. To improve, make sure the response fully addresses all parts of the task. Develop ideas thoroughly with clear explanations and relevant examples and make sure to address the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal access
  • fundamental human rights
  • empower
  • well-being
  • economic implications
  • workforce
  • social inequalities
  • sustainability
  • financial burden
  • quality of services
  • models
  • successfully implemented
  • practicality
What to do next:
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