With the development of online media, this is no future for the radio. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, the internet widely spreads all over the world.
While
some people
say that there is no room for traditional radio
because of online media
, I partially agree that online media
development is only a new trend for the future.
It is true that online media
plays a significant role on
Change preposition
in
media
industry. Because of the Add an article
the media
wide spread
of the internet, Correct your spelling
widespread
everything
is easy for Correct pronoun usage
it
people
to start doing their own media
. Turning into online media
will definitely reduce the cost of its production compared to traditional one
, and it is approachable as well Correct pronoun usage
ones
due to
almost people
Correct determiner usage
all people
have
internet. They can access the Wrong verb form
having
media
any
time that they need. Change preposition
at any
For instance
, after the world knows Facebook, I've seen a bunch of users using Facebook as their platform to publicly broadcast their contents
. It shows that it does not always have Fix the agreement mistake
content
radio
, but we can get to know news or any update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
via
online.
Change preposition
apply
However
, there are some people
who still use radio
, especially elderly Correct article usage
the radio
people
. It is very clear that most of them grew up using radio
, but these days there is a trend Change preposition
in that
that
young generation looking for vintage styles which Correct determiner usage
the
radio
is one of them. For example
, in Thailand, vintage market
where young Fix the agreement mistake
markets
people
can find antique things is
more popular than Correct subject-verb agreement
are
the
past. It mainly sells Change preposition
in the
radio
for decoration, but there is a demand of
it that Change preposition
for
people
want to use radio
as a media
to get to know things like the past.
In conclusion, even though I agree that online Replace the word
medium
media
is a huge trend, and it is convenient to use, there is a small demand of
using traditional Change preposition
for
radio
from elderly people
and young
generation.Correct article usage
the young
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coherence cohesion
You need to ensure your essay has a clear logical structure by presenting your ideas in a well-organized manner. Paragraph transitions could be smoother to aid the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be enhanced to more explicitly state your position and summarize the key points.
coherence cohesion
While you have provided support for your main points, strive to develop your ideas further and connect them back to the question more explicitly to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Your agreement with the statement could be expressed more clearly throughout the essay, and there should be a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear but can benefit from being more comprehensive and detailed. Aim to expand on your ideas and explain how they relate directly to the question at hand.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples, which is good. Continue to use specific examples to support your argument, but also consider how they illustrate the broader points and the overall theme of the essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.