With the development of online media, this is no future for the radio. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, the internet widely spreads all over the world.
While
some
people
say that there is no room for traditional
radio
because of online
media
, I partially agree that online
media
development is only a new trend for the future. It is true that online
media
plays a significant role
on
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in
show examples
media
Add an article
the media
show examples
industry. Because of the
wide spread
Correct your spelling
widespread
show examples
of the internet,
everything
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
is easy for
people
to start doing their own
media
. Turning into online
media
will definitely reduce the cost of its production compared to traditional
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, and it is approachable as well
due to
almost
people
Correct determiner usage
all people
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
internet. They can access the
media
any
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at any
show examples
time that they need.
For instance
, after the world knows Facebook, I've seen a bunch of users using Facebook as their platform to publicly broadcast their
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
. It shows that it does not always have
radio
, but we can get to know news or any
update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
show examples
via
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apply
show examples
online.
However
, there are some
people
who still use
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
show examples
, especially elderly
people
. It is very clear that most of them grew up using
radio
, but these days there is a trend
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
young generation looking for vintage styles which
radio
is one of them.
For example
, in Thailand, vintage
market
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markets
show examples
where young
people
can find antique things
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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more popular than
the
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in the
show examples
past. It mainly sells
radio
for decoration, but there is a demand
of
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for
show examples
it that
people
want to use
radio
as a
media
Replace the word
medium
show examples
to get to know things like the past. In conclusion, even though I agree that online
media
is a huge trend, and it is convenient to use, there is a small demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
using traditional
radio
from elderly
people
and
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation.
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coherence cohesion
You need to ensure your essay has a clear logical structure by presenting your ideas in a well-organized manner. Paragraph transitions could be smoother to aid the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be enhanced to more explicitly state your position and summarize the key points.
coherence cohesion
While you have provided support for your main points, strive to develop your ideas further and connect them back to the question more explicitly to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Your agreement with the statement could be expressed more clearly throughout the essay, and there should be a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear but can benefit from being more comprehensive and detailed. Aim to expand on your ideas and explain how they relate directly to the question at hand.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples, which is good. Continue to use specific examples to support your argument, but also consider how they illustrate the broader points and the overall theme of the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • media consumption
  • diversifies
  • live streaming
  • podcasts
  • extinction
  • emergency broadcasting
  • accessibility
  • affordability
  • nostalgic
  • cultural significance
  • adaptability
  • relevance
  • community building
  • local news dissemination
  • emerging artists
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