Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that all
students
in university should pursue subjects
aligned with their personal interests
. Meanwhile, others think focusing on science
and technology related
curriculums will have advantages Add a hyphen
technology-related
on
their future career. The latter perspective is useful in some cases, but I believe that studying Change preposition
for
subjects
of personal interests
is more beneficial to them.
Some people believe thatFix the agreement mistake
interest
,
all Remove the comma
apply
students
should acquire knowledge in the field related to science
and technology
to ensure success in their future career path. In the past, all students
were instructed to select courses or programs based on the high potential earnings. For instance
, the most popular profession of Asian university students
is an
Correct article usage
apply
engineer
or Replace the word
engineering
a
doctor Correct article usage
apply
due to
the perception of having an extreme potential of
financial gain.
Change preposition
for
This
is not always true, I believe that all students
should study whatever they are interested in. This
enables them to pursue their passions and aspirations,
and identify themselves based on their Remove the comma
apply
interests
. At present, the job market is undergoing a rapid transformation, accelerated by the widespread accessibility of the internet and AI technology
. For example
, the rise of YouTube content creators who earn incomes from their sponsors and subscriptions shows the growing opportunities to gain money without having knowledge related to science
or technology
, but they create videos publishing online based on their interests
and trend
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
trends
although
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
science
and technology
subjects
can be useful to have a certain job, but
I believe that learning Remove the conjunction
apply
subjects
based on their interests
and passions is more conductive
to Correct your spelling
conducive
identify
and Wrong verb form
identifying
fulfill
their desired career path.Change the spelling
fulfil
Submitted by sahawat.ww on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction/Conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve, make sure to include a concise thesis statement at the end of your introduction that clearly states your opinion, ensuring that your conclusion restates this as well.
Supporting Examples
You provided some examples to support your points, which is good. However, try to expand on these examples, demonstrating how they relate to the argument. More detailed and relevant examples would strengthen your main points.
Logical Structure
The essay should have a more coherent structure. Try to organize your paragraphs more logically, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supporting information.
Task Response
You have generally addressed the task, but your response should fully answer all parts of the question. Make sure to discuss both viewpoints thoroughly before giving your opinion. Your opinion needs to be clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
Coherence
Make good use of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs, but avoid repetition. You may also benefit from varying your sentence structure to enhance readability and engagement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!