Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
There is a widely held perception in many parts around the world that many
people
complaining of health problems are using alterative
Correct your spelling
alternative
medicine
and medications instead
of seeing their doctors, from my perspective I believe that this
practice is an absolute
negative development, Change the word
absolutely
due to
the fact that it is not based on a seientific
evidence Correct your spelling
scientific
as well as
it my
be harmful.
One Point which I think to be absolutely pivotal is that Correct your spelling
may
alternative
medicine
is not based on scientific evidences
. To illustrate in Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
the
general trusted Correct article usage
apply
medicine
in order to generalize treatment or even a diagnosis of certain disease
,
there is a sequence of steps varying from prospective studies to retrospective, Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
must
Correct pronoun usage
which must
be taken
place in advance. Wrong verb form
take
In addition
to that various lab expirements
are done on animals ; mainly rats; in order to be sure that the diagnosis and the medicaments are optimum. From these Correct your spelling
experiments
steps
Add a comma
steps,
it is clear that
alternative
medicine
lacks the evidence.
Another reason that Can be easily seen by everyone is that this
practice may cause harmful effects. In other
words
Add a comma
words,
people
who prescribe alternative
treatments are not doctors, and subsequently
they lack the knowledge of the effect of different materials on the body which in turn may lead to detrimental side effects on many of the body systems. Of course, Add a comma
subsequently,
alternative
medicines may be beneficial in some cases ;however
, I would contend that they may be devastating to body organs. For example
, in Egypt, a study concluded that eighty per cent of people
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
alternative
drugs developed chronic discases
.
To recapitulate, despite the existence of large numbers of Correct your spelling
diseases
people
trying alternative
medicines instead
of trusted doctors, I believe that this
is a negative development due to
not being evidence based
Add a hyphen
evidence-based
as well as
the possibility of causing harmful side effects.Submitted by moo.elnokrashy on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure and flow between ideas, making it challenging for the reader to follow. Sentence structures are often repetitive or awkward, which disrupts the coherence of the argument.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not clearly defined or effective in stating and summarizing the argument's main points. The conclusion is abrupt and does not adequately recapitulate the essay's content.
coherence cohesion
Main points are mentioned, but they are not well supported or explained. Developing points with clear logic and organization could greatly improve the essay's clarity and impact.
task achievement
The essay does address the task by stating an opinion, but it does not fully develop a response. It requires a more thorough exploration of the topic with a balanced discussion on why it might be considered a negative development.
task achievement
Ideas presented are relevant but not comprehensive or clear. The essay could be greatly improved by providing clearer explanations and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples to support the arguments. Using real-world examples, studies, or statistics would make the argument more persuasive and enhance the response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.