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Band 7

n their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#n #businesses #emphasise #products #development
Recently, when businesses advertise their products, they try to show it as a new good in some way. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the reason for
this
 effort.
In addition
, why I do consider it as a negative development. It is my view that, when a business
suchas
Correct your spelling
such as
acompany
Correct your spelling
company
a company
 launches a new product, it definitely wants to have a considerable sale and because advertising has a crucial role in introducing goods, the company makes its effort to illustrate the goods as a new thing. It would be the best approach to deal with other competitor companies
as well as
 previous versions or editions of the same product. The majority of
people
 usually have a tendency to seek new arrivals in order to possess the latest things which they believe are the best goods. It can happen in different aspects
such
 as technology, fashion or even home decoration. I am
also
 convinced that,
such
 advertisements have a significant drawback as they encourage
people
 to spend more and more money on the staff that they already possess, which is an obvious type of consumerism.
For instance
, every other year cutting-edge electronic gadgets like smartphones are launched,
while
 they literally have insignificant improvements compared with the past versions even in their appearance and many
people
 consume a huge amount of money to have them. In conclusion, having the desire to sell more leads companies to insist on advertising their products as they are new in some aspects. From my perspective, it is totally undesired and negative effect on societies and
people
.
Submitted by samira.nezhadamin on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay, try to vary your sentence structure more to avoid repetition and create a more engaging read. This can also help your writing feel more sophisticated and fluent.
task achievement
While your essay does a good job of addressing both aspects of the question, further depth could be added by exploring additional reasons why businesses emphasize the novelty of their products, and by discussing the impact of this trend more broadly on consumer behavior and societal values.
task achievement
Be cautious about generalizing statements without providing evidence or clarification, as this can weaken your argument. When you mention that advancements in products are 'insignificant', for example, providing specific examples or explaining criteria for significance could strengthen your point.
coherence cohesion
You effectively organized your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure makes your argument easy to follow.
task achievement
You addressed the prompt fully by discussing why businesses highlight the novelty of their products and offering your perspective on the implications of this trend. Your conclusion summarizes your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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