IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart provides information on the distribution of weekly family income among key 8 areas in one country over a 50-year period of time. In 1968 and 2018, the largest portion was spent on food and leisure respectively. The least expenditure had not changed over time which is fuel and power. The money spent on household goods remained the same for these 2 years. The amount spent on leisure doubled over the 50-year period time although the clothing and footwear expenditure had reduced in half. In 1968, the portions of income spent on housing and clothing and footwear were the same but in 2018, the housing expense had almost doubled even though the clothing and footwear amount had reduced significantly.

The bar chart provides information on the distribution of weekly family income among key 8 areas in one country over a 50-year period of time. In 1968 and 2018, the largest portion was spent on food and leisure respectively. The least expenditure had not changed over time which is fuel and power. The money spent on household goods remained the same for these 2 years. The amount spent on leisure doubled over the 50-year period time although the clothing and footwear expenditure had reduced in half. In 1968, the portions of income spent on housing and clothing and footwear were the same but in 2018, the housing expense had almost doubled even though the clothing and footwear amount had reduced significantly.
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The bar chart compares
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 weekly spending by families in a country in 1968 and in 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, families in 1968 spent the most on food
while
Linking Words
 in 2018 it changed to leisure. Other categories
also
Linking Words
 showed an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 spending from 1968 to 2018, including housing and transport.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, and personal
goods
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 saw a notable decrease.
However
Linking Words
, household
goods
Use synonyms
 remained steady despite the changing years. In 1968, people had to spend a big portion of their weekly income
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food, making it 35%.
This
Linking Words
 made the other categories a smaller ratio, housing and clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 only occupied 10%. Meanwhile, fuel and power, household
goods
Use synonyms
, transport, and leisure
expanse
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
 were only 5-10%.
This
Linking Words
 situation varied in 2018, as food expanse fell sharply to around 17% but leisure increased markedly to about 23%.
Consequently
Linking Words
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
also
Linking Words
growth
Correct article usage
a growth
show examples
 proportion in housing by almost 10% and in transport by roughly 4%. A decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, and personal
goods
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 be seen,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 three of them only making it less than 5%.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, household
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 stabilised
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 approximately 7%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words goods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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