Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people

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Nowadays,

museums

Use synonyms

are very important to our society.It

icludes

Correct your spelling

includes

many different items.

Such

Linking Words

Animals,Birds,and old

thinks

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

Lot

Change the article

A lot

show examples

museums

Use synonyms

get

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

admission

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others

are

Verb problem

show examples

not pay.

This

Linking Words

provides many benefits and

brawbacks

Correct your spelling

drawbacks

, The Following paragraph will discuss. On the one hand, If get

charge

Wrong verb form

charged

show examples

for

admission

Use synonyms

to see

Museums

Use synonyms

that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

feel it is a value. so must

will

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

use full. But If

allow

Wrong verb form

allowed

show examples

free

Change preposition

for free

show examples

, we do not use

good

Fix the agreement mistake

goods

show examples

. Because we think

that is

Linking Words

free

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

we will

use

Verb problem

show examples

careless and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not get respect .

For example

Linking Words

, some

museums

Use synonyms

allow

free

Correct pronoun usage

it free

show examples

people

Use synonyms

think it is local.

Moreover

Linking Words

Thesedays

Correct your spelling

These days

people

Use synonyms

respect money.so we will allow free, they do not feel that value.So

museums

Use synonyms

must charge

admision

Correct your spelling

admission

fee

Use synonyms

.That

fee

Use synonyms

help

Change the form of the verb

helps

show examples

to develop

museum's

Correct article usage

the museum's

show examples

facilities.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, If get

Use synonyms

admission

Correct article usage

an admission

show examples

fee

Use synonyms

, it will create some disadvantages.

First,

Linking Words

People

Use synonyms

who have money, That

people

Use synonyms

can go to

museums

Use synonyms

.Others can not see. In the country including many poor

people

Use synonyms

.so these types of

people

Use synonyms

worry about

this

Linking Words

For instance

Linking Words

, If get large

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

Change preposition

of admition

show examples

admition

Correct your spelling

admission

fees, poor

people

Use synonyms

childrents

Correct your spelling

children

children's

do not go

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Only can see

Museums

Use synonyms

rich

people

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

charge

Correct article usage

the charge

show examples

for

admission

Use synonyms

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

people

Use synonyms

good and bad.

Museums

Use synonyms

and

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

administation

Correct your spelling

administration

must

will

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

consider that and get

small

Add an article

a small

show examples

amount for

admission

Use synonyms

.It is

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

idea.

after

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will respect more

people

Use synonyms

and many

people

Use synonyms

will come to see it.

Submitted by ajeevatharsan on Tue Jan 02 2024

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task achievement

The essay attempts to address the topic, but it lacks a clear position throughout the response. It is advisable to state a clear thesis in the introduction and consistently maintain this position, accompanied by relevant supporting arguments.

coherence cohesion

The coherence is hindered by grammatical inaccuracies and poor punctuation, making it challenging to follow the argument. Consequently, the logical flow between ideas is disrupted. Improved sentence structure and use of linking expressions would benefit the overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth. Establish clear main ideas at the beginning of each paragraph and develop them with supported arguments and examples.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarise the essay's main points. The introduction should introduce the topic and state the writer's opinion, while the conclusion should summarise the discussion and restate the opinion.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples that are directly relevant to the argument being made. Such examples should be used to substantiate claims and enhance the persuasiveness of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while other believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion

Cycling is the healthier and more environmentally friendly form of transportation. Nevertheless, cycling is getting less popular. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to make cycling more popular?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The two floor plans illustrate how the central library has changed over the past 20 years.

Around the world, more adults can work from home and more children can study from home as computer technology technologies become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?