Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people

Nowadays,

museums

are very important to our society.It

icludes

Correct your spelling

includes

many different items.

Such

Animals,Birds,and old

thinks

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

Lot

Change the article

A lot

show examples

museums

get

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

admission

while

others

are

Verb problem

show examples

not pay.

This

provides many benefits and

brawbacks

Correct your spelling

drawbacks

, The Following paragraph will discuss. On the one hand, If get

charge

Wrong verb form

charged

show examples

for

admission

to see

Museums

that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

feel it is a value. so must

will

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

use full. But If

allow

Wrong verb form

allowed

show examples

free

Change preposition

for free

show examples

, we do not use

good

Fix the agreement mistake

goods

show examples

. Because we think

that is

free

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

we will

use

Verb problem

show examples

careless and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not get respect .

For example

, some

museums

allow

free

Correct pronoun usage

it free

show examples

people

think it is local.

Moreover

Thesedays

Correct your spelling

These days

people

respect money.so we will allow free, they do not feel that value.So

museums

must charge

admision

Correct your spelling

admission

fee

.That

fee

help

Change the form of the verb

helps

show examples

to develop

museum's

Correct article usage

the museum's

show examples

facilities.

On the other hand

, If get

admission

Correct article usage

an admission

show examples

fee

, it will create some disadvantages.

First,

People

who have money, That

people

can go to

museums

.Others can not see. In the country including many poor

people

.so these types of

people

worry about

this

For instance

, If get large

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

Change preposition

of admition

show examples

admition

Correct your spelling

admission

fees, poor

people

childrents

Correct your spelling

children

children's

do not go

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

Furthermore

, Only can see

Museums

rich

people

. In conclusion,

charge

Correct article usage

the charge

show examples

for

admission

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

people

good and bad.

Museums

and

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

administation

Correct your spelling

administration

must

will

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

consider that and get

small

Add an article

a small

show examples

amount for

admission

.It is

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

idea.

after

this

will respect more

people

and many

people

will come to see it.

Submitted by ajeevatharsan on Tue Jan 02 2024

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task achievement

The essay attempts to address the topic, but it lacks a clear position throughout the response. It is advisable to state a clear thesis in the introduction and consistently maintain this position, accompanied by relevant supporting arguments.

coherence cohesion

The coherence is hindered by grammatical inaccuracies and poor punctuation, making it challenging to follow the argument. Consequently, the logical flow between ideas is disrupted. Improved sentence structure and use of linking expressions would benefit the overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth. Establish clear main ideas at the beginning of each paragraph and develop them with supported arguments and examples.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarise the essay's main points. The introduction should introduce the topic and state the writer's opinion, while the conclusion should summarise the discussion and restate the opinion.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples that are directly relevant to the argument being made. Such examples should be used to substantiate claims and enhance the persuasiveness of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

223 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Many people join distance-learning program and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree?

Some employers offer their employees subsidizedmembership of gyms and sport clubs , believe that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work . Other employees find no benifit doing so. Discuss both views .

You want to learn a language. A teacher who teaches this language lives near the area where you live. Write a letter to the teacher. In your letter: - say how you came to know about him/her - explain why you want to learn this language - ask what help he/she can offer

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.