As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Take a stand and build up your argument.
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Over recent years,
globalization
has emerged as the leading trend behind the advancements achieved in the field of communication, transportation and other infrastructure. Consequentially, certain individuals claim that this
trend will result in the elimination of cultural norms and formations. I personally uphold the view that the establishment of one cultural nation with less diversity will be one of the infamous implications of globalization
.
To commence with, the first salient reason why internationalization will end ethnic diversity is that eventually the most pertinent and prevalently adopted cultures will survive the waves of cultural bombardments and only they will have a chance of existence among many societies. To illustrate this
point, events such
as Christmas, Halloween, and Black Friday have now successfully been assimilated in the majority of countries across the globe, blending in with ethnic and cultural norms. Having described the power of globalization
, it is worth mentioning that this
mass adoption of global trends is likely to lay the foundation for a uniform identity without colourful disparities.
Moreover
, the global integration of societies calls for a single language model that will increase efficiency, while
abolishing all other languages. For example
, in this
era, everyone is entitled to communicate in English if they want to perform well and communicate without borders. As a first step, the number of English speakers has been surging which will then
be followed by acknowledging English as a first language by countries to ease off the trade-off and promote worldwide connectivity.
In conclusion, although
globalization
is a significant and indispensable movement that involves many nations, it has formidable repercussions, such
as eroding the ethnic identities of these nations,
and posing a threat to their existence.Remove the comma
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout. This includes consistent and purposeful paragraphing that accurately reflects the progression of your argument. Try to use connecting words and phrases to signal logical relationships between ideas and to guide the reader more smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and generally effective, but consider making your thesis statement more pronounced and assertive in your introduction. In your conclusion, aim to not only restate your main points but also synthesize them to reinforce the overall argument and provide a strong final impression.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with full support, either through detailed explanations, specific examples, or data where appropriate. Doing so adds weight to your argument and better demonstrates your understanding of the topic at hand.
task achievement
You have addressed the task with a clear position throughout the essay; however, strive for more depth and detail in explaining and illustrating your points to fully satisfy the requirements of the prompt. Make sure that each idea you introduce is expanded upon thoroughly before moving on to the next.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and contribute to a coherent argument but aim for greater depth of analysis to enhance the comprehensiveness of your essay. Demonstrate complexity in your thought process by considering and addressing potential counterarguments or nuances within your supporting points.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and varied examples to substantiate your claims. While you have provided general instances of cultural diffusion, using more pointed and diverse illustrations from different cultures or statistics can significantly bolster your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.