IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that robots are important for humankind's future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era,
robots
Use synonyms
 are doing a lot of
work
Use synonyms
. Some individuals believe that
robots
Use synonyms
 are significant for humankind's future
development
Use synonyms
. Others think that
robots
Use synonyms
 have minor effects on society. In my point of view,
robots
Use synonyms
 have replaced
development
Use synonyms
. The following paragraph will discuss you. On the one hand, using a robot makes many
plus
Change to a plural noun
pluses
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
we can do our
work
Use synonyms
 very easily and quickly without pressure.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays, many companies use
this
Linking Words
. Because that replaces
people
Use synonyms
's workplace. So, we can do the
work
Use synonyms
 with small employees.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they still wrote coding
robots
Use synonyms
 doing their
work
Use synonyms
. That can do the job
repeartly
Correct your spelling
repeatedly
 without bore. And can
also
Linking Words
 control and change
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. So business
people
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 likely
robots
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
. I read many research
report
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
show examples
. That includes
robots
Use synonyms
'
work
Use synonyms
 can make more profit for business companies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, using the
robots
Use synonyms
 creates some minus. One, robot usage will decrease humans' skills
development
Use synonyms
 and experience.
Also
Linking Words
,
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 opportunities.So that will increase unemployment levels. After using
robots
Use synonyms
, many
people
Use synonyms
 go to another country to
work
Use synonyms
. Poor
people
Use synonyms
 are facing many problems
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
. It can create a lot of
distances
Fix the agreement mistake
distance
show examples
with
Change preposition
between
show examples
 poor and rich
people
Use synonyms
. It makes
bad
Correct pronoun usage
us bad
show examples
 in our society. And many students are going to wrong way. Because
robots
Use synonyms
 replace their
work
Use synonyms
 life. In conclusion, increasing technology affects good and bad. We will use a good way, So we
wo
Correct your spelling
do
 not go a negative way. We will develop all our skills. That can help our future life. do not waste our time. We will provide time
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our future
development
Use synonyms
. That will give
many
Correct pronoun usage
me many
show examples
 chances.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. It's important to organize your thoughts coherently, providing a clear introduction, distinct body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion that summarises your stance.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to clearly present the topic and your opinion. Ensure both are present and restate your stance in the conclusion for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
When supporting your main points, provide concrete examples and expand on them. This will help substantiate your argument and make your points more persuasive and informative.
task achievement
Make sure to address the prompt fully by discussing both views thoroughly and providing your own opinion. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion and ensure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
For a higher score, present your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each paragraph adds to the discussion of the topic at hand.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Refrain from making generalized statements without backing them up with clear examples or explanations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • surgical robots
  • assembly lines
  • job displacement
  • ethical considerations
  • privacy issues
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • re-skilling
  • human welfare
  • surveillance robots
  • disaster recovery missions
  • human touch
  • social bonding
  • advancements in healthcare
  • regulation
  • ethical AI
  • safeguards
  • manufacturing speed
What to do next:
Look at other essays: