Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many governments think, that economic
progress
is their most important goal, meanwhile
some people think that other types of Add a comma
meanwhile,
progress
are equally important. I think that economic progress
is one
of the most important factor
to become a Change to a plural noun
factors
sucessful
country.
Correct your spelling
successful
One
of the reasons why government prioritize economic progress
is to ensure stability, create jobs and improve living standarts
. By improving Correct your spelling
standards
Correct article usage
the economic
economic
, government can increase Replace the word
economy
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
of
other factors Change preposition
for
as
living Correct quantifier usage
such as
standarts
, etecetera, Correct your spelling
standards
moreover
, only by paying attention on
Change preposition
to
one
procces
government can get rid of Correct your spelling
process
unemployment
problem, which is Add an article
the unemployment
issue
in many countries. Add an article
an issue
the issue
That is
why I and many other people think so.
On the other hand
, some argue that without social, environmental, and cultural progress
, economic progress
is not sustainable or truly beneficial. Economical progress
can't be improven
without developing other progresses, as I had mentioned before, because they are connected with each other, so it is impossible to be focused only on Correct your spelling
improved
improve
one
progress
. One
of
Change preposition
apply
such
examples
is Japan, by improving education and science in Fix the agreement mistake
example
country
, they Add an article
the country
develloped
economic Correct your spelling
developed
progress
.
In conclusion, while
economic progress
is important, it should be balanced with other types of progress
for the overall
development of a country.Submitted by satkalialbina07 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
It is crucial to maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Use paragraphs effectively to organize your arguments, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows logically from the one before.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be consistent with the presence of a clear introduction and conclusion. These paragraphs are essential for establishing your understanding of the topic and summarization of your main points. Make sure each essay has a strong opening and closing statement that reflect your overall argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with clear and relevant examples. While the essay mentions Japan, the example is too vague. Make sure to flesh out examples with specific details to demonstrate the argument effectively.
Task Achievement
Ensure you have responded completely to all parts of the task. This includes discussing both views thoroughly and providing your own opinion. Make sure every aspect of the question has been addressed with sufficient detail and clarity.
Task Achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay. Avoid repetition and ensure each sentence contributes new information or analysis to support the overall argument.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to substantiate your points. Such examples should be detailed enough to illustrate your argument and show a clear understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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