The pie graphs show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graphs shows the activities in which the girls participate in.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie graphs show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graphs shows the activities in which the girls participate in.

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The pie charts illustrate how many

boys

Use synonyms

and

girls

Use synonyms

participate in the six cultural and leisure

activities

Use synonyms

with the 3 same

activities

Use synonyms

and the others are different.

Overall

Linking Words

, the majority of

boys

Use synonyms

choose to join computer games as their

activities

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, dancing is an activity

that is

Linking Words

chosen by most of the

girls

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, many kinds of

activities

Use synonyms

boys

Use synonyms

show big differences,

while

Linking Words

girls

Use synonyms

a lot of actions are similar.

According to

Linking Words

the information, it is stated that one-third

Use synonyms

boys

Change preposition

of boys

show examples

choose computer games,

whereas

Linking Words

fewer people want to go for reading.

Moreover

Linking Words

, listening to music and skateboarding

activities

Use synonyms

show

Correct article usage

a 1

show examples

% similarity.

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, for basketball, it is the second one to be

choosen

Correct your spelling

chosen

which is 26%. More than 15% of

boys

Use synonyms

pick soccer as an

activitiy

Correct your spelling

activity

which means that it

placed

Add a missing verb

is placed

show examples

after the basketball.

In contrast

Linking Words

, 10% of the

girls

Use synonyms

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not want to

listening

Change the verb

listen

show examples

to music

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

makes

this

Linking Words

activity

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the least one. It shows

one

Correct article usage

a one

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

difference between music and gymnastics since it contains 11%. Similar to these

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

, netball and computer games have almost the same numbers. The proportion of reading

nearly

Add a missing verb

is nearly

show examples

one-quarter,

while

Linking Words

the percentage of dancing is greater than a quarter.

ieltswriting91Tue Jan 02 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, activities with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.

▼

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

203 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

participate
cultural activities
leisure activities
pie graphs
survey
boys
girls
comparison
participation
overall
similarities
differences

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The pie graphs show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graphs shows the activities in which the girls participate in.

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or waste of time?

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems?