The pie graphs show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graphs shows the activities in which the girls participate in.

#graphs #show #survey #children’s #activities #first #leisure #boys #second #girls

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The pie charts illustrate how many

boys

Use synonyms

and

girls

Use synonyms

participate in the six cultural and leisure

activities

Use synonyms

with the 3 same

activities

Use synonyms

and the others are different.

Overall

Linking Words

, the majority of

boys

Use synonyms

choose to join computer games as their

activities

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, dancing is an activity

that is

Linking Words

chosen by most of the

girls

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, many kinds of

activities

Use synonyms

boys

Use synonyms

show big differences,

while

Linking Words

girls

Use synonyms

a lot of actions are similar.

According to

Linking Words

the information, it is stated that one-third

Use synonyms

boys

Change preposition

of boys

show examples

choose computer games,

whereas

Linking Words

fewer people want to go for reading.

Moreover

Linking Words

, listening to music and skateboarding

activities

Use synonyms

show

Correct article usage

a 1

show examples

% similarity.

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, for basketball, it is the second one to be

choosen

Correct your spelling

chosen

which is 26%. More than 15% of

boys

Use synonyms

pick soccer as an

activitiy

Correct your spelling

activity

which means that it

placed

Add a missing verb

is placed

show examples

after the basketball.

In contrast

Linking Words

, 10% of the

girls

Use synonyms

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not want to

listening

Change the verb

listen

show examples

to music

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

makes

this

Linking Words

activity

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the least one. It shows

one

Correct article usage

a one

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

difference between music and gymnastics since it contains 11%. Similar to these

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

, netball and computer games have almost the same numbers. The proportion of reading

nearly

Add a missing verb

is nearly

show examples

one-quarter,

while

Linking Words

the percentage of dancing is greater than a quarter.

Submitted by ieltswriting91 on Tue Jan 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, activities with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.

▼

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

203 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

participate
cultural activities
leisure activities
pie graphs
survey
boys
girls
comparison
participation
overall
similarities
differences

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You are preparing an event in the countryside. Write a letter to your friend and ask for help with the arrangements. In your letter, •describe the event •mention what arrangements have already been made •say how your friend can help
I hope you are doing great. I am writing this letter to let you know that I am planning an event on obesity to provide information to the public on how to stay fit. I am a member of the volunteer club of Brampton and it is my dream to aware people of various current health problems. Therefore, I will organize a program on 19th November.
7
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Over the past few decades, individuals trained with professional skills such as medicine and engineering have been offered broad opportunities to work outside their countries, due to the continually surging need for professional workers. Many believe that those people need to be encouraged to take the offer, while others oppose this view. As for my personal perspective, I believe that every individual should not work overseas.
4.5
band
Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?
In some countries, many pupils decide to choose other subject instead of science subject in university at this time. In my point of view, science become not attractive for many students because it seems difficult, complicated, and expensive to contibute on its research.
5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?
There are few nations, it is better to stay own dormitory for citizens to compared with the rented one. The main reason behind on this is most of the people are in good economic condition and the country has developed in the real estate business. From my perspective, this ambience will give a positive result in the society.
5
band
Differences between countries are barely evident these days . Everyone in the world is wearing the same brands and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, technology has made everyone around the world live the same life, they wear similar clothing lables and watching same Television shows. This essay will examine this view and explain why I believe that it is not a favourable developement.

The pie graphs show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graphs shows the activities in which the girls participate in.

You are preparing an event in the countryside. Write a letter to your friend and ask for help with the arrangements. In your letter, •describe the event •mention what arrangements have already been made •say how your friend can help

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

Differences between countries are barely evident these days . Everyone in the world is wearing the same brands and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?