The pie graphs show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graphs shows the activities in which the girls participate in.

The pie graphs show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graphs shows the activities in which the girls participate in.
The pie charts illustrate how many
boys
and
girls
participate in the six cultural and leisure
activities
with the 3 same
activities
and the others are different.
Overall
, the majority of
boys
choose to join computer games as their
activities
.
On the other hand
, dancing is an activity
that is
chosen by most of the
girls
.
In addition
, many kinds of
activities
in
boys
show big differences,
while
in
girls
a lot of actions are similar.
According to
the information, it is stated that one-third
boys
Change preposition
of boys
show examples
choose computer games,
whereas
fewer people want to go for reading.
Moreover
, listening to music and skateboarding
activities
show
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
% similarity.
Besides
this
, for basketball, it is the second one to be
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
which is 26%. More than 15% of
boys
pick soccer as an
activitiy
Correct your spelling
activity
which means that it
placed
Add a missing verb
is placed
show examples
after the basketball.
In contrast
, 10% of the
girls
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not want to
listening
Change the verb
listen
show examples
to music
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes
this
activity
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the least one. It shows
one
Correct article usage
a one
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
difference between music and gymnastics since it contains 11%. Similar to these
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
, netball and computer games have almost the same numbers. The proportion of reading
nearly
Add a missing verb
is nearly
show examples
one-quarter,
while
the percentage of dancing is greater than a quarter.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, activities with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participate
  • cultural activities
  • leisure activities
  • pie graphs
  • survey
  • boys
  • girls
  • comparison
  • participation
  • overall
  • similarities
  • differences
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