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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below show the population figures of different types of turtles in India between 1980 and 2012

The graph below show the population figures of different types of turtles in India between 1980 and 2012
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The line graph depicts the proportion of
turtles
Use synonyms
 in India which have 3 different species from 1980 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the olive ridley
turtles
Use synonyms
 experienced
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
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 trend
while
Linking Words
 green
turtles
Use synonyms
 and leatherback
turtles
Use synonyms
 underwent
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
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 trend.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all species of turtle remained constant. The highest population is olive ridley
turtles
Use synonyms
 and leatherback
turtles
Use synonyms
got
Verb problem
are
show examples
 the opposite. Looking in more detail, the population of 3 different types of
turtles
Use synonyms
 started at the same level, index at 100
turtles
Use synonyms
. Before the olive ridley
turtles
Use synonyms
 fluctuated from 1997 to 2012 , there was a significant increase over 17 years from 100
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 around 135
habitant
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
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 of
turtles
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, all species of
turtle
Fix the agreement mistake
turtles
show examples
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 up and down repeatedly throughout
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the years. Meanwhile, the
green
Correct quantifier usage
number of green
show examples
turtles
Use synonyms
 had fallen gradually between 100 to about 85 animals over
thirty two
Add a hyphen
thirty-two
show examples
 years. The
last
Linking Words
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 is leatherback
turtles
Use synonyms
. It decreased rapidly from 100 to approximately 55 varieties of turtle since 1980.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words turtles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Endangered species
  • Conservation efforts
  • Biodiversity
  • Ecosystem
  • Poaching
  • Habitat loss
  • Reproductive rates
  • Predation
  • Environmental changes
  • Climate impact
  • Ecological significance
  • Species decline
  • Protection measures
  • Wildlife management
  • Population trend
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