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Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care. Discuss both views.

#families #parents #members #grandparents #care #children #childcare #centers
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In
this
 era of time, working
parents
 are now searching for people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 could look after their
children
. Some
parents
 would ask other family members,
such
 as grandparents, to take care of their
children
. Others opted for childcare that would provide more facilities for learning. I am here to discuss on both sides of the choices.
On the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 first
option
, leaving
children
 with their grandparents, would give a more affordable
option
 by not spending as much money
that is
 needed.
Other
Correct quantifier usage
Another
show examples
 reason for choosing
this
option
 would be building a stronger bond between family members, and having them be more
familiarize
Replace the word
familiar
show examples
 with them. I can see why
parents
 would pick
this
option
 when they are looking for a more budget-friendly
option
.
On the other hand
,
parents
 choosing childcare would provide their
children
 with facilities to improve their skills,
such
 as toys and various activities. With
this
option
,
children
 would learn more with the provided learning tools to help them gain motoric skills. With these two given
option
, there are advantages and disadvantages
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 either
option
.
Parents
 would have to look at which
option
 benefits them the most and which can give the best environment for their
children
.
Submitted by vanadia on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure there is a clear logical structure to your essay by having distinct paragraphs for the introduction, each viewpoint, and the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include an identifiable conclusion that summarizes the key points and your stance, to give your essay a balanced closure.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support main points with specific examples or reasons. The essay lacks concrete examples to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of each childcare option.
Task Achievement
Provide a complete response to the prompt by discussing both views in depth and giving a clear opinion on the matter.
Task Achievement
Develop ideas fully to cover all parts of the task. Your essay should have clearer, more comprehensive explanations of each point of view.
Task Achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to illustrate points about each type of childcare, thereby showing personal knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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