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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories

the bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories
#bar #shares #expenditures #five #categories
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The given
bart
Correct your spelling
bar
 chart provides information about the amount of money spent for five main categories (Food, Housing, Transportation, Health-care, Clothing) in 4 countries (United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Japan).
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the country spent their maximum money on food and housing but they contributed less in healthcare and clothing sectors. In terms of food, the expenditure of Japan was the most significant
than
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of
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 all the
countires
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countries
, about 23%. But in
this
Linking Words
 category,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States made
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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, which was 20%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the USA experienced the highest in housing sections and it was over 25%,
while
Linking Words
 Canada witnessed nearly 21% .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Canadian people maximize their amount of money on transportation in
Correct article usage
the transportaion
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transportaion
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transportation
 sector and that was about 15% larger than Japan.
In addition
Linking Words
,
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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the
country
Correct word choice
whole country
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 spent
least
Correct article usage
the least
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in
Change preposition
on
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 healthcare and clothing. Among all of them,
Correct article usage
the Uk
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Uk
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UK
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 only contributed roughly 2%, which was about 5% lower than
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canada and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Great Britain
spenf
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spent
spend
 nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 in
dressing
Correct article usage
the dressing
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 section, just over 5% and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 made only in the vicinity of 3%.
Submitted by sahareatushar124 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • categories
  • percentage
  • bar chart
  • allocation
  • distribution
  • consumer spending
  • economic indicator
  • fiscal priorities
  • trend analysis
  • budget allocation
  • disposable income
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