It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, in
this
fast-paced world, daily needs and desires are such
important things in life. Thus
, crimes sometimes happen to overcome those problems. In the simple theory, fraud often happens based on three causes, which are: pressure, rationalization, and opportunity. Without these three risk factors, there is no fraudulant.
If someone calls a crime
to be related with low lever education, I could not agree. Because crime
itself has many types, like white-collar crime
, the blue-collar, nepotism, corruption, and so on. In addition
, if someone well-educated, let's say a politician, conducted a
corruption on their parties, does Correct article usage
apply
this
is not included as a crime
?
Every event have
its own inheritance risks. How to manage it to tackle or minimize some criminals doing their business is Change the verb form
has
important
thing rather than putting them in prison. Even if the criminals are already put in jail, the most red-flag education for them is not to teach some skills (so after their time is already over, they will find a suitable job), but how to make them believe that their Add an article
an important
the important
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
such
a sin and can not be redo.
I would rather say, on the contrary
, that the best way to reduce crime
is to keep in mind those three factors. Let me take an example of having a store on a crowded street. Elaborating on how to make people believe that they can not take my goods for free to reduce the pressure and opportunity factors, I will put some guards and CCTVs in each high-risk corner inside and outside. On the other hand
, to minimize the rationalization factor, I would put some salesmen/women to communicate with the guests, besides
promoting my products, they also
become first-liners to detect any bribery indications which might happen.
Thus
, to conclude
my opinion, I do not purely agree with the statement above. Educating criminals on some skills, so that they can find jobs after leaving jail is not an important thing to do.Submitted by aghnia.ulhaq on
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task achievement
Ensure that you address the prompt directly and provide a clear opinion on the topic. Avoid diverging from the topic with general statements or examples that do not support the argument related to the topic of education's impact on crime.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay with a clear introduction stating your opinion, coherent paragraphs each with a single main idea, and a conclusive paragraph summarizing or restating your position.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and explanations that are directly related to the prompt to strengthen your argument. It's important to illustrate points with relevant situations or data pertinent to the discussion on educating criminals to reduce crime.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing effectively to structure arguments and thoughts. Paragraphs should flow logically from one to the next, and each should have a clear central topic that relates back to the main argument of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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