IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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It is true that both
men
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 and
women
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 have different characteristics that enable them to do contrasting types of tasks.
While
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 I accept that they do not have the same capabilities, I believe both are equal and can do each other's
job
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 as efficiently as they can on their own. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why
men
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 and
women
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 cannot
suit
Verb problem
do
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 the same type of
works
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work
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.
While
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men
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 take advantage of physical strength,
women
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 have a caring nature.
For example
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, jobs with heavy
workload
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workloads
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 are primarily filled with
men
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such
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 as manufacturing workers, and agriculture
works
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workers
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.
Due to
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 the fact that female's strength is not as good and stable as
male
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males
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, they cannot fit these
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job's
Change noun form
job
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 requirements.
Furthermore
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, it has long been known that "
men
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 make a house,
women
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 make
home
Add an article
a home
the home
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". It is no doubt that
women
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 can bring up the children and take care of
house
Correct article usage
the house
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 better than
men
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 because of their loving and caring nature.
On the other hand
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, there is no relation between individual ability and
gender
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.Nowadays, experience and qualifications play an integral part in having the best
job
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 prospects. Regardless of
gender
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, applicants have to be equally interviewed first and take
further
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 tests to get a position in most companies.
Moreover
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, there are
women
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 who have become a policeman, which is quite dangerous, and they are successful in their careers.
Furthermore
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, there are a lot of
men
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 working as a makeup artist or a fashion designer which are assumed as female-dominated jobs in the past. It has been claimed that as long as they meet the
job
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 requirements,
gender
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 is not a barrier for leaders.
For instance
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, Jeremy Scott is a well-known fashion designer, he has built a pop-art culture empire in the whole fashion world during the early years of
21st
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the 21st
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 century. In conclusion, it is certainly true that
gender
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 can be an important factor when considering an appropriate
job
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, but
this
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 is by no means the key consideration in making a career decision.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion. The introduction should set out the main argument while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the position.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay could be improved. Ideas should flow in a logical manner, with clear transitions and a natural progression from one point to the next.
supported main points
Support main points with more detailed examples. Each main idea discussed should be thoroughly explained and exemplified with relevant instances or evidence to enhance clarity and persuasiveness.
complete response
Maintain a complete response to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. Be sure you have presented a balanced argument for your position, reflecting on both sides of the issue if required.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas presented should be clear and comprehensive. When discussing complex topics, articulate your point of view in a straightforward manner that can be easily understood.
relevant specific examples
Back up your main points with specific examples. These examples should be relevant to the argument and should be used to illustrate and reinforce your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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