IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Is punishment right way to give moral to children. Do you agree or disagree?

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A
sanction
Use synonyms
 is a comprehensive manner to manage the
child
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's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. In my opinion, I agree with
this
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 statement.
This
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 act
also
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 gives
children
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 knowledge about limitations in life. I start with what kind of
sanction
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 is acceptable. A reasonable penalty is support for
children
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 to not do the same act two times, but they must get the strangest from that cost.
For example
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, the kids throw garbage into the river, which is wrong. We must tell the
child
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 that putting the rubbish in the water is not good, as it causes the water flow to be blocked and flooded.
As a result
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, the youngster will learn about the process of flooding.
Then
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, they will remember to put waste papers, plastics, leaves, and others into rubbish bins. It makes new habits for them with a clean lifestyle. The hard
sanction
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 will make a younger down. The parent must defend the
children
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 from
this
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 kind of
sanction
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. Judging
children
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 with violence will hinder the
child
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's development.
For instance
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, the
child
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 is not brave enough to try new things because afraid to be wrong. They choose a safe situation and always await their mother or father's instructions. It's habit influence to learn manner. They always pay attention to their parents to try something new. The kids are not brave enough to make a decision about what they want to play. In conclusion. a
sanction
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 is a good way to make a
child
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 better.
Nevertheless
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, we must choose the right cost and a good reason to do that.

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task achievement
Your essay partially addressed the topic of whether punishment is the right way to teach morals to children, but you must ensure that you fully explore all aspects of the argument, not just focusing on one side. You need to examine both the agree and disagree perspectives to provide a complete response and show a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, strive for a clearer logical structure by including topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that guide the reader through your arguments. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next with the use of cohesive devices such as transitions phrases and conjunctions.
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