in recent years, many small local shops have closed because customer travel to large shopping center or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?
During the twentieth century, as populations expanded and more people moved to the city, life changed in many ways, including how we go shopping.
While
previously people would purchase what they needed at small, local shops, by the end of the century people were primarily shopping at larger malls and superstores. Linking Words
This
essay will argue that it is neither a positive nor a negative development: in fact, it is simply a natural change.
The main argument against Linking Words
this
sort of change is that smaller outlets are run by individuals or families, Linking Words
whereas
large malls and supermarkets are operated by huge national or multinational conglomerates. Small business owners are being squeezed out of the market by these huge corporate entities. Linking Words
This
Linking Words
also
causes a situation where the personal aspect of smaller Linking Words
stores
is lost, and the high streets lose their character as department Use synonyms
stores
that have been around for decades or longer. suddenly close. Each town begins to look more like the next.
Use synonyms
However
, it is not all bad. These vast Linking Words
stores
offer far more choices and better prices than smaller ones. Deli could offer. Use synonyms
In addition
, they specialize in customer service so Linking Words
although
they may not be. entirely personal, the staff are well-trained to deal with a wide variety of situations. These department Linking Words
stores
can offer a greater level of convenience for customers and cater to the population with disabilities more easily.
In conclusion, it is understandable that many communities are upset by the phenomenon of small showrooms. closing, but it is not necessarily a negative development. There are some positives to Use synonyms
this
situation as well.Linking Words
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly define your stance on the topic. In this case, the introduction should clearly state whether the development is positive, negative, or a mix of both. The conclusion should reiterate and summarize this stance.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence. In this essay, general statements were made without substantial support or data. To improve coherence, use specific examples to illustrate your arguments.
complete response
Your essay did not fully address the question. The task was to discuss whether the development of small shops closing due to larger shopping centers is positive or negative. You should explicitly discuss the impacts and provide examples and insights to support your viewpoint.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas to make them comprehensive. Avoid ambiguous statements and ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea followed by explanations or examples.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant, specific examples to support your ideas. This essay lacked concrete examples to illustrate points about large shopping centers and small local shops. Incorporating real-world examples would add weight to your arguments and improve task achievement.
logical structure
Ensure that your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphing, and each paragraph should have a clear central idea. Use cohesive devices effectively to link your ideas within and across paragraphs. This essay demonstrates a need for improved structure and use of linking words.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example