Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is an argument that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives, meanwhile, others think that

adult

life

brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. I believe that teenage years bring more happiness than

adult

life

however

this

essay will discuss both these views. One of the reasons why individuals think that teenage

life

is much better than

adult

life

is less responsibility. In the teenage years person doesn't have kids, which he or she should look after and give

this

kid as great

education

Correct article usage

an education

show examples

, as possible,

moreover

this

person doesn't have loans or taxes, which he or she should pay every month.

For example

, parents must go to work to pay all that food,taxes, etcetera.

In addition

, they should spend time with their children, so they will know that their parents love them , which can cause stress, because all

this

responsibility can be extremely hard.

On the other hand

, teenagers have a lot of stress too. There are a lot of exams,

decisions

Correct word choice

and decisions

show examples

about who they want to be or where they should go after school. As a teenager, I thought about am I sure that I wanted to be an engineer,

also

I thought about is I

did

Wrong verb form

had done

show examples

enough stuff to get into my dream university.

According to

my previous words, part of society thinks that it's better to be an

adult

To sum up

, I still think that teenage

life

is happier than

adult

life

, there is a lot of positive stuff except exams, etcetera, certainly, an

adult

life

has some fun moments too, but it's easier when someone is responsible for you than you are responsible for someone.

Submitted by satkalialbina07 on Wed Jan 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. It is imperative to use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and arguments, which can help in improving the organization and the clarity of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and the conclusion are both present but could be more distinct and effective. Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topics to be discussed, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the arguments made throughout.

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points more thoroughly by expanding on your ideas with fuller explanations and linking them clearly to the question. Aim to present ideas that clearly relate to the main topic with more depth and clarity.

task achievement

While the essay responds to the task, there is room for a more comprehensive coverage of the topic. Include a more nuanced discussion and present a balanced view before giving your opinion.

task achievement

Work on clarifying and expanding your ideas, ensuring each is comprehensively developed within its own paragraph. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your essay.

task achievement

Support your ideas with relevant examples. The examples provided are too vague and do not effectively illustrate your points. Consider using concrete and specific instances from real life, literature, or reliable studies.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Recently you noticed that the waste (garbage) disposal in your area is creating problems. Write a letter complaining about the situation to the environment officer. * The time of waste pickup. * What is the problem with the waste. * Suggest solution to the problem.

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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foregin language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advanantages of this outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include some relevant examples.