Is it important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, globalisation has opened many opportunities to level up people’s
life
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lives
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in
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apply
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personal and professional.
However
, they should take
risks
as requirements to
get
Verb problem
achieve
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career advancement in
Correct article usage
the workplace
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workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
and have good resilience and adaptability in their
life
.
This
essay will elaborate
how
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on how
show examples
important people
take
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to take
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risks
in evolving
the
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their
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quality of
life
. People’s demand
in
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for
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basic needs, like property and
grocery
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groceries
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become higher time by time as high as goods
price
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prices
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in
global
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the global
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market.
This
situation encourages people to have
long-work
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long work
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hours,
then
it enables them to get career advancement
for
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by
show examples
earning
higher
Add an article
a higher
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salary. That condition must be supported with good professional development,
such
as international professional training which takes much money, time, and effort. Unfortunately, those sacrifices will not guarantee the workers to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
level up from their job position, especially in big or multinational companies.
That is
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
a high-competitive skill among employees on performance.
For example
, in a bad case, they could get field in promotion.
However
, even though workers experience unselected
in
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apply
show examples
promotion
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promotions
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, they will become certified international well-trained
employee
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employees
show examples
as they
put
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pay
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attention
on
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to
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professional development, as their
risks
.
In
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On
show examples
another chance, if there is a good opportunity in other companies which offer higher
salary
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salaries
show examples
, they probably will be selected easily. It is
same
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
important in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
my personal
show examples
life
as well. Every person must have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good resilience and adaptability in
globalisation
Correct article usage
the globalisation
show examples
era. Those survival skills have to
build
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be built
show examples
by taking some
risks
like
travel
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travelling
show examples
and
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
alone in a
country
.
For example
, International students have to travel and live in another
country
just by themselves. They must learn a new language and survive
with
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apply
show examples
the weather
condition
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conditions
show examples
which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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extremely different from
origin
Correct article usage
the origin
show examples
country
.
Moreover
, they might have social
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
like
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
barrier, or get sick because of extreme weather. But, if students are able to tackle the situation, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
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elevate their personal skills in social, rather than
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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just
live
Wrong verb form
living
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in their
country
and
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
any
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
. In conclusion, taking
risks
in professional development to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
career advancement and in personal
life
to build good resilience and adaptability are important.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is because globalisation requires good personal and professional skills.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Be sure to organize your ideas more clearly to improve logical structure. Use paragraphs effectively to separate topics and ideas for better reader understanding.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay closer attention to the wording of the question and make sure that your introduction and conclusion directly address the question asked. Refrain from being generic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points further by using a mix of complex sentences and clear, supporting examples. This ensures each point is robust and contributes to the overall argument.
Task Achievement
Make sure your response fully covers all parts of the task. Each aspect should be explored fully and concluded with a clear personal stance to show a complete response.
Task Achievement
Work on clarity by rephrasing complex ideas in a more straightforward manner, ensuring that comprehensive ideas are not obfuscated by overly complex language or unclear expressions.
Task Achievement
To effectively use examples, ensure they are specific, highly relevant, and well-explained to support the respective points being made. Avoid general statements that do not offer concrete evidence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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