Is it important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

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Nowadays, globalisation has opened many opportunities to level up people’s

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

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apply

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personal and professional.

However

Linking Words

, they should take

risks

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as requirements to

get

Verb problem

achieve

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career advancement in

Correct article usage

the workplace

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workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

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and have good resilience and adaptability in their

life

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This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate

how

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on how

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important people

take

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to take

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risks

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in evolving

the

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their

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quality of

life

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. People’s demand

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for

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basic needs, like property and

grocery

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groceries

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become higher time by time as high as goods

price

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prices

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global

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the global

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market.

This

Linking Words

situation encourages people to have

long-work

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long work

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hours,

then

Linking Words

it enables them to get career advancement

for

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show examples

earning

higher

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a higher

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salary. That condition must be supported with good professional development,

such

Linking Words

as international professional training which takes much money, time, and effort. Unfortunately, those sacrifices will not guarantee the workers to

Unnecessary verb

apply

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level up from their job position, especially in big or multinational companies.

That is

Linking Words

because

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because of

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a high-competitive skill among employees on performance.

For example

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, in a bad case, they could get field in promotion.

However

Linking Words

, even though workers experience unselected

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apply

show examples

promotion

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promotions

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, they will become certified international well-trained

employee

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employees

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as they

put

Verb problem

pay

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attention

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show examples

professional development, as their

risks

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show examples

another chance, if there is a good opportunity in other companies which offer higher

salary

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salaries

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, they probably will be selected easily. It is

same

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

important in

personal

Correct pronoun usage

my personal

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life

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as well. Every person must have

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apply

show examples

good resilience and adaptability in

globalisation

Correct article usage

the globalisation

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era. Those survival skills have to

build

Wrong verb form

be built

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by taking some

risks

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travel

Wrong verb form

travelling

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and

live

Wrong verb form

living

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alone in a

country

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For example

Linking Words

, International students have to travel and live in another

country

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just by themselves. They must learn a new language and survive

with

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apply

show examples

the weather

condition

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conditions

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which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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extremely different from

origin

Correct article usage

the origin

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country

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, they might have social

problem

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problems

show examples

language

Correct article usage

a language

show examples

barrier, or get sick because of extreme weather. But, if students are able to tackle the situation, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

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elevate their personal skills in social, rather than

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

just

live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

in their

country

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and

Verb problem

apply

show examples

not

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

any

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

. In conclusion, taking

risks

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in professional development to

get

Verb problem

achieve

show examples

career advancement and in personal

life

Use synonyms

to build good resilience and adaptability are important.

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

is because globalisation requires good personal and professional skills.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Jan 03 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Be sure to organize your ideas more clearly to improve logical structure. Use paragraphs effectively to separate topics and ideas for better reader understanding.

Coherence & Cohesion

Pay closer attention to the wording of the question and make sure that your introduction and conclusion directly address the question asked. Refrain from being generic.

Coherence & Cohesion

Develop your main points further by using a mix of complex sentences and clear, supporting examples. This ensures each point is robust and contributes to the overall argument.

Task Achievement

Make sure your response fully covers all parts of the task. Each aspect should be explored fully and concluded with a clear personal stance to show a complete response.

Task Achievement

Work on clarity by rephrasing complex ideas in a more straightforward manner, ensuring that comprehensive ideas are not obfuscated by overly complex language or unclear expressions.

Task Achievement

To effectively use examples, ensure they are specific, highly relevant, and well-explained to support the respective points being made. Avoid general statements that do not offer concrete evidence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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Is it important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion

Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person's nature. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? What can be done about this lack of sleep?