IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

EX 3: Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems.To what extend do you agree?

#people #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems
It is argued that roads and motorways are more vital to invest in than public transport
systems
while
 others believe the opposite opinion. I completely agree with both of the viewpoints and I will elaborate on the reasons below. On the one hand, it is obvious that there are many inadequacies in the road system.
Firstly
, roads are the major contributor to the world’s air pollution. It is said the exhaust that comes from vehicles and routes
are comprised
Wrong verb form
comprises
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 over 50% of the amount of air contaminant.
Secondly
, they
are
Verb problem
apply
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also
taken
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take
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 up the vast majority of
transportation-accident
Correct your spelling
transportation accident
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 cases.
For instance
, in Vietnam, over 90% of accidents happen on driveways. The third point is that
due to
aging
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ageing
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, there are many potholes and black spots that appear on the surface of the path system.
On the other hand
, there is no doubt that public transport
systems
such
 as trains have their imperfections.
To begin
 with, many railways or other
systems
 are having deficiencies
due to
 the aging process,
therefore
, minimizing the speed of those types of transportation.
Subsequently
, because of crossing with a lot of roads, there are
also
 many accidents that public transportation accounted for. The final point is that there are many illogical designs by governments in those
systems
.
For example
, there is a useless app that the government made that has no use but still needs to be installed. In conclusion,
although
 there are clear benefits when only investing in one type of system,
but
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apply
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I believe that investing in both kinds of
systems
 will bring profits in a long time.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, as it is necessary to address to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement.
task achievement
Develop arguments with relevant examples and make sure these examples are specific to the topic at hand to enhance the argument's effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Maintain logical progression of ideas using a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and subsequent support sentences that align with the main argument. This contributes to a solid structure.
coherence cohesion
It's crucial to have a consistent theme and argument throughout the essay for coherence. Your position should be clear and maintained without contradictions.
coherence cohesion
Address problems with vague language or unclear ideas to ensure that your reasoning is explicit and can easily be followed by the reader.
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